Mostly Interracial Avengers Smut/Fluff

Steve Rogers

This was never an easy topic, I literally hate everything about myself. I'm not pretty. I'm not skinny. I don't even know why Steve puts up with me, I do nothing for him.

I think about this as I spill all of the food I just consumed inside of the toilet. I'm so ashamed of myself I hate me. Why am I like this. Why can't I just be normal.

Tears spill out of my eyes some from legitimately crying and the others from forcing the vomit up my throat. I flush the toilet and lay my head on my arms that rested on the toilet seat as I silently cried.

Steve doesn't know about this side of me, the insecure, Bulimia Nervosa side of me. If he did he'd probably be even more disgusted with me than he already is.

There was a knock on the door and Steve's voice followed.

"Hey, you okay in there sweetheart? It's been 15 minutes."

I quickly wipe my tears and clear my throat before answering.

"Umm... Yeah babe I'm fine. I just don't really feel well." My throat was soar and hoarse as I spoke.

"Let me in." Steve says jiggling the door handle.

"No no, I'm fine really I just need a minute." I lie keeping him from being the protective husband he is.

"No Y/n, you had a minute let me in... Let me help you."

"Steve I'm fine." I argue. That's when I hear the metal of the door handle slowly break. I quickly rise onto my feet and sit on the toilet top as Steve walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. I lower my head so that he can't look me in my bloodshot eyes.

"Y/n, I know when you're lying to me. You're not fine, you haven't been for months. Tell me what's wrong." Steve lowers to his knee and takes my cheek in his hand. He has that sorrowful look in his eyes as he looks me in the eyes. I never wanted him to look at me like that. Never.

"Steve you can't tell you." I shake my head and take his hand from my face.

"I'm your husband Y/n. You can tell me anything." Steve encourages.

"You might not love me the same way." I begin to shed a few tears as my voice cracks.

"Y/n I want you to look at me when I tell you this." Steve lightly leads my eyes to his once again. "I would never, ever stop loving you the way I do now no matter what. I will never love you like I do now. My love grows for you every second of the day nothing you could say or do would ever change that. I am here to go through what ever your going through with you. I'm not leaving your side... Okay?"

"Okay." I take in a deep breath before beginning to speak again, "Since freshman year of high school I've had this secret... Um it's never been easy for me, it makes me self conscious about everything. At first I didn't think anything if it. I... Um..." My voice begins to shake as I try to get this next part out. I suffer from Bulimia Nervosa, which is a.. sort of eating disorder... Basically I binge eat and then I.... I um. Force myself to throw it up and exercise excessively." I take another shaky breath as more tears begin to fall. "At first it was only once a month, then I started doing it once a week... And then everyday... I'm sorry... I just... I feel so ugly and fat all the time, and this was the best Catharines that I could come to. I've never told anyone about this..."

Steve let out a sharp breath as some tears slid down his cheeks. He stands to his feet pulling me along with him before pulling me into a tight hug. I let more tears fall as I'm engulfed in Steve's loving arms. He kisses my temple before saying,

"I'm so sorry Y/n, I should have seen it."

"I didn't let you see it... It's not your fault... It's my problem."

"No, it's our problem. I'm not letting you go through this alone. And I'm not going to continue to let you think that you're not the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I'm here for you Y/n... I love you 3,000."

"I love you 3,000." I return as more tears begin to fall. How do I deserve this man in front of me.

Steve pulls me back into the previous hugged ng position and just held me like that for a while.

This one was a little personal. I suffer from Bulimia and so this one was a bit harder but I got threw it for y'all and for me, but I think this story for me is the most influential. I wish I had someone that was there like that when I was really going threw it bad. I wish I would have told someone sooner than I did. Is anybody else dealing with an eating disorder of some kind? YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER THAT, I just am curious. If you do feel comfortable sharing you can either comment or personally message me. Again I am NOT a professional but I do have experience and have suffered from this specific eating disorder, you can talk to me if you want to, but I still suggest talking to someone else as well. Thank you all so much for everything you do and for all of your support, likes, and comments. I love you all, stay safe and healthy!💖💖💖