The poems of life

Crying doesn't cut it anymore

Crying doesn't cut anymore

It doesn't make sense

Crying used to be the solution to wanting to be invisible

The tension in my heart is heavy

I would to say i can cry my problems away

But what's the point in lying to myself

I love my boyfriend

I really do

But i don't want him to see me wanna be invisible

It doesn't make sense

When the body wracking sobs pull through you

To the point you have to cover your mouth

Just so you won't wake someone up

The distractions don't work anymore

My mother (who only talks about herself)

Music (that usually calms me down)

I'm stupid

I should have known i wouldn't be able to push this away forever

I should have known that i was gonna face it eventually

Fake smiles can't change feels

It doesn't make sense

The anger i feel

Stirring up inside of me

I want to hold him

He's so sweet to me

But something's off

I wanna scream

Fucking shout until my ears bleed

Until my voice cracks

Until i can't even speak

I wanna yell as loud as i fucking can

But in the end game all I can whisper

Is i'm fine

I know my friends see it

Me not eating

Locking myself in my room for hours

The blank stares i give sometimes

I know you see it

But you wouldn't speak

And i don't blame you ok

I wouldn't say anything either

Trust me

As you look me dead in the face

I wanna say I'm not fine

I wanna yell

I wanna go away

I wanna disappear

I can try

I'll be in my room

I don't wanna come out

It's the closest i can get to not being here

What's wrong with me

God i can't even think straight

Nobody wants to help

My boyfriend doesn't need to know

I know he call me beautiful

I know he's a sweetheart

Everybody approves of him

It doesn't make sense

When someone is so evil to me

I only wanna make peace at this point

But i'll fake it

I love you Babe

I love you so much

I'm so sorry

I can't be different

I'm so sorry i can't seem to change

I'm sorry

But you don't understand

Crying doesn't cut it anymore