Sleepless Nights & Daydreams

Realizations

Scenario 16:~

     It's not the same as it was before. The feeling that was once like an untamed lion, was now a simple house cat. The sensation and joy wasn't the same either. I am no longer ecstatic at the sound of his voice or by seeing his name appearing on my phone screen. Everytime he comes to my mind, his flaws appear as well. His lack of conversational skills. And the fact that he seems to be using me for something I am unwilling to give.

     It's true. My thoughts from before seem to be correct now. I never liked him for him. I liked him for what he signified. I didn't like his ways or his looks. I liked the simple attention that he gave to me in the beginning. The attention I no longer receive because each day new things seem to form so that we talk even less. New excuses. New problems.

     But there are questions I keep asking myself at this moment... Should I listen to the advice everyone is giving me? Should I cut him out of my life completely? Should I give up on this? On him?

     And the answer I get each time I reason it out in my mind... Yes. I should. 

     I am no longer the peron that I used to be. Nor will I ever be that girl again. But I do not like the way that I am now. The way I've become since I've met him. But I find it so difficult to just cut someone off entirely, without any warning whatsoever.