Sleepless Nights & Daydreams

Changes

Scenario 25:~

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the wind blew my hair back and my music filled my ears. My thoughts raced in a whirlwind as I tried to go through everything that had taken place in the last couple days. All the changes and choices made that I now had to adjust to. Things that I didn't want but had no choice but to accept.

He's gone. After a year of altering my life completely, he was now no longer in it. He didn't leave, not exactly. He just couldn't be what I wanted him to be, not anymore, and I couldn't keep him around with that knowledge. So I had to push him away. His attitude towards me changed too much that it broke me a little more every day until one day I turned into a shell of my former self. This causing him to walk away from me entirely.

For a while I walked around like a ghost, going through the motions of my every day life and keeping up a false pretense of happiness. Until I met the one person that would change my life entirely, just at the time I didn't know it yet. He came into my life unintentionally and slowly our friendship blossomed. It started out as baby steps, messages every once in a while throughout the day and then constant messages everyday every week. After that, Skype calls began. We were strangely becoming two cheeks of the same butt.

Some days I couldn't figure out where I started and he ended, we were so alike that it would sometimes get weird. But as weird as it became, the day arrived where I couldn't see myself without him. He took the pain and loneliness away, he became the only constant in my life. Through every depressed moment experienced and all the sleepless nights, he was slowly mending me and I didn't even realize until I was nearly whole.

But the thing about the people who fix you, they are the same ones who have the most power to destroy you all over again. And with this thought, always in the back of my mind, paranoia had begun to set in. Small at first, but it grew. The strange thing was that he was able to handle it all, he stayed through it all. And every day I have to ask myself "How did I get so lucky?". Nearly every week I'd have to ask him, desperate for an explanation, and his response would always be "I'm the lucky one, babe".