Ignorance Is A Bliss

😭Chapter.5😭

2 Months Later....
I completely cut myself from my friends Aria and Anthony to make Ivy happy because I love her and her happiness comes first.
I want to prove I'm not a cheat also, I want to prove that I'm not like the other person who cheated on her.
I want her to be my one and only, she's my first love and that's what makes her special to me.
Ivy: "I love you"
(She kisses my cheek)
Well that was 2 months ago since I stopped talking to Aria and Anthony and now I regret it.
I wish I would've reached out to them while I had the chance because after Aria saying Ivy was abusive, well she was right because Ivy became violent to me....
I used to smile all the time, now I haven't smiled in awhile, I only smile when she's around to avoid another beating.
Anthony is right I need to see sense but she is the victim too, she is, she doesn't mean it, It is my fault anyway, I shouldn't be so stupid.
I look in the mirror and I think of the first day she started to become violent....
~Flashback number 1~
Ivy: "What have you done?!"
Me: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"
Ivy: "YOU STUPID CLUMSY BITCH!"
That day she punched me 5 times on my hip and I ended up with a bruise on it, then she repeatedly apologised to me when she realised what she did.
Ivy: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you"
(She kept saying)
Me: "It's ok, it was my fault anyway, I deserved it"
Ivy: "It was rare, my Aunt gave me that collection of plates, they were special, I can't believe they are BROKEN"
Me: "I'm sorry ok, I didn't mean to break them"
I cried and cried, I cried myself to sleep that night and it really really hurt what she did to me, I never thought she would ever become violent the way she is now.
~End Of Flashback number 1~
Also there was another time where she abused me too during a party we had, only it gotten worse from there, everyone was having a good night that night except for me.
~Flashback number 2~
Ivy got drunk that night and I do blame that on the drink but she's done this before when she wasn't drunk sometime in the past, we went upstairs.
Ivy: "Come on baby, let's go upstairs"
Me: "Ok"
So I went upstairs with her and we were kissing, she kept kissing me and it got too rough, she then forced me into the bedroom, into the bed...
Ivy: "Come on, let's go into the bedroom"
Me: "Babe, I don't want to have sex"
Ivy: "So you don't love me?"
Me: "Of course I love you, it's just that I'm not ready for it and I just don't want to, please, not tonight, maybe another time"
Ivy: "NO, We are doing this NOW, weather you like it or not"
So when I was gonna head back downstairs no one witnessed this, there was only me and her, she dragged my arm hard and threw me onto the bed in the bedroom and no matter how many times I said no she never listened.
Ivy shut the door after us and that night we fucked and I didn't want to do that, she hurt me everytime I pulled away, she doesn't realise she's abusing me some how, I wish she would stop and think and ask me how I feel.
After the intercourse.....
Ivy: "You embarrassed me tonight, in front of all my friends, I'm so disgusted by you, you even looked like a hooker tonight, some of my guest actually fancy you and that's not what I wanted"
Me: "You raped me"
Ivy: "No I didn't you were clearly enjoying it, plus you owed me one after the stunt you pulled tonight anyway, stop being such an baby and live a little, oh what should we get for your birthday next month? A rocking horse? A dolls house?"
Me: "What?"
Ivy: "You are pathetic seriously, grow up!"
(She slams the door)
I'm left crying, I look in the mirror and that was the point when I realised that this is not me, this wasn't suppose to be that way but like I said before, I don't think I can leave her.
She's my first love and she made me feel important.
I'm blaming myself and saying to myself it's my fault but that's just how I feel and no one can change the way I feel only me.
~End of Flashback 2~
They don't see me but I saw them outside of my window, my friends talking and I'm not sure what about but I look and I'm wondering what they are talking about, I hope they are not worried about me, I don't want them to worry about me, I'm fine.
Anthony: "Aria?"
Aria: "Yeah?"
Anthony: "I'm worried about Abi"
Aria: "Me too but She made her own bed now, she can lie in it, I warned her about Ivy, I never liked that Ivy girl from day one and that's just fine, If she wants to choose Her over us then so be it, it's like we never mattered to her and she proved that by walking out of our lives"
Anthony: "Can't you see that no one was looking out for her only us?"
Aria: "I'm aware of that but if she's happy she won't be needing us will she?"
Anthony: "True"
That was then just sitting on the bench talking, I drawn the curtains and turned on my lights in my room and I look in the mirror and look at my photos.
I took my top off and I took pictures on my cellphone of my bruises on my arms and on my hip.
Then Ivy comes into the room....
Ivy: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Nothing"
Ivy: "Give me that"
(Snatches the phone out of my hands)
Me: "Hey"
Ivy: "Taking pictures of them bruises I see? Well they are going to go..... Delete.... Delete..... Delete"
Ivy deleted the pictures I took one by one making my evidance not known to anyone anymore.
Me: "What the hell is wrong with you? You are so gonna need help!"
Ivy: "Me? I'm gonna need help?"
(Ivy just laughed)
Ivy: "You'll be the one who needs help after this"
Me: "What? What do you mean by that?"
Ivy: "Well if you report this to the Authorities and they question me about this, well I'm gonna make sure that I'm not gonna be the one who goes down for it, I can say that you attacked me and I attacked you back in self defence, just like that, just think about it Abi, in their eyes, you'll be the monster of this story not me, so the choice is yours, I wouldn't rub me the wrong way if I were you, I would choose wisely but hey, everything will be just fine, just the way we want it babe"
Then Ivy kisses me and walks into the kitchen and I'm silently crying.
I feel trapped and that there's gonna be No Way Out of this mess.
God knows what I can do to save myself now, there's nothing left.
I have no friends, no family, no nothing all because I made sacrifices to make Ivy happy, it's all over now, maybe she's right.
She's so won this and there'll be nothing I can do about it, it's game over for me now.