BROKEN ROAD - One Man's Journey

CHAPTER SIX - A Bridge To Cross

  He let himself into the loft. Stopping by to see Jeb had not been such a swift idea after all. His normally even tempered cousin was not happy to see him. Instead he was on the attack the minute the office door slid shut. "Where is your brain Ben," Jeb began. "You bail out Saturday night over Tracy, what gives with that? We all know you couldn't give two shits about her." That was hitting the nail on the head. He didn't add what had transpired between Ben and Jamie to his list of offenses because Jamie had it coming and Ben was miles ahead of where Jamie would ever find himself amounting to. He should have left him behind long ago. Ben didn't defend himself. That was suspect in itself. His cousin did not sit still for nor did he like people trying to analyze him unless there actually was something he was hiding. That was it! Ben had left Gram's party to get back to Wanda. For crying out loud why was this woman suddenly so important? He had seen her once to Jeb's recollection not counting that little tire thing. Jamie had reported that Ben had been with her but that was...what? Maybe an afternoon? Or was there more to it? "Ben?" Jeb had that I figured out what's going on tone in his voice, "What are you doing?" Ben shrugged as he took a seat, "I don't know Jeb. I really don't know." Ben recapped what had taken place since he last saw him. He left out how frantic he was to get to her, he left out the real reason she was sick. That was none of his business. He left out the hold she had over him. When he was finished Jeb poured them both a drink. He wasn't sure what to think. Ben was never at a loss for words. Never unable to take command of his own thoughts and life but it was clear as day that he was out of his league right now. Thankfully, however, he did say that it was over so there was some good news. In a day or two he would be back to his old self, this conversation null and void.

Ben rifled through his mail that had piled up on the credenza. He opened a few envelopes, perused through them and tossed them aside. He got out his checkbook and wrote out payment for his utilities and rent. Maybe Jeb was right. In a week or so she wouldn't be his first and last thought. He wouldn't feel like he was teetering at the edge of a cliff clinging to her crying out for salvation. He had made the right decision. He would stay away from the little vixen who had taken over his life with her soulful eyes and soft spoken ways. He would be better for it. He didn't need her. In no time at all she would be in his rear view mirror. That resolve lasted six days.

For the next few months Ben would stop by to see her. He rarely called first rather just showed up. He felt if she didn't know he was coming then she couldn't decline a visit. However, that left him open to the possibility that she may be in someone else's company. Every time he knocked he would feel the relief that she was not. Wanda never expected him. There were times he would stay away for a week and then show up out of the blue. He never rang her, he never said I will see you tomorrow. He certainly was different than any man she had known. He was always kind, always asking how she was and if she needed anything. The answer was always no. She had provided for her own support for many years, she wasn't about to go relying on anyone now. Ben liked her, she knew that.

He made no secret of it after the time he spent with her while she was sick. She was not even sure how much he knew. He never brought it up which she was grateful for. He never asked to know more about it or how it had come to be. He had taken her to Vinos a couple times but somehow missed his cousin. She often wondered if that was coincidence or by design. She had met him one day when Ben, against her protests, took her out to the farm. They had all been very nice, very polite but she left with the nagging feeling that they did not like her. She was sure it was because she was so much older than him. Not all of them, though, were looking at her like she was trying to steal him away or, worse yet, grab on to the family fortune. Ben's grandmother, spunky as could be had come up to her and said, "Forgive them dear, they love him. It's not their fault they cannot see that he is head over heels in love with you." She did not correct the elderly lady. She did not tell her that they were just friends or that while he treated her well and was fond of her Ben was definitely not in love with her nor her with him.