BROKEN ROAD - One Man's Journey

CHAPTER TEN - Pride's Price

Dinner was nice. It was so good to see Carmen and have both of her daughters with her. Thomas was there also completing the family circle. The six of them partook of all the specialties in the menu sharing them, part of this, some of that. Kensi and Daniel were engaged in conversation over the daily grind of the Airforce while Thomas, Celia and Carmen were taking a stroll down memory lane. She listened to them, nodding or smiling when they asked do u remember that time. About nine the party broke up. They bid each other goodnight hugs and handshakes going around. They would get together in a few days to celebrate her birthday.

Wanda drove home in silence. She couldn't bear the radio it was doing little to make her mind shut out his last words. Instead no matter what dial she moved to a heartache song blared out. Were the disc jockeys being bribed? She put on a pair of shorts and tank and headed off to bed. She didn't want the television, she didn't want anything but to sleep where she could get him out of her head. There had been no roses delivered. There had been no apologetic call. Ben was gone. "I'm done Wanda." He had been angry before. He had been upset before but he had never said he was done. It was his right but that choice hurt her and she knew why. Yes she still believed she would be a deficit to his life and that one day he would resent her being there but she loved him. She had tried so hard not to but she did.

Ben went to the farm. He worked in the barns. He rounded up cattle and put them in pens ready for the stock market. He worked each day until he was worn to exhaustion. Jeb came up after he had been there for a few weeks. They baled the second haying and were watching it go up the conveyor into the mow. "Slow down dude," Jeb told him as he reached for the key to the tack room off the nail on the wall. Gram had said he planned on oiling a few of the saddles. "You have been laboring like a madman. What gives?" Ben gave him his I do not want to talk about it look. Jeb asked, "Is it Wanda?" "Leave it alone Jeb," Ben warned. "I'm not even close to kidding." He spent the remaining part of the afternoon until dusk in the barn. When he came out and headed towards the house he saw Gram sitting on the veranda, a thin shawl around her despite it not being cool. He paused at her side and kissed her hand. Gram smiled up at him. "Sit with me child," she said as she had when he was young. "Tell ole' Gram all about it."

When he was finished Lila looked at her grandson. He was a good boy and she was very fond of him. It was no secret she favored him. She always had. The two of them had an unbreakable connection. "I want you to listen to a wise, wise old woman." He gave her a smile. "I have known since you brought her here that you were in love with her. I know things dear when it comes to matters of the heart. There was no age difference between me and your grandfather but we had a lot of obstacles in our way." Ben hadn't heard this story. "Your great grandfather was dead set against me getting involved with him. He said he had his reasons but I know now they were poppycock. I was every bit as stubborn as your Wanda every bit as determined and I fought him, denied him, and continually sent him away. Your Pops never gave up on me." "Does she love you child?" Ben nodded. "I mean truly love you deep inside to where she can't look across the room at you and see her life without you? He thought for a minute. "Yes Gram, she truly loves me." "Then if you want her...fight for her and do not give up until the life leaves your body." "Remember these words...Only death is a final answer."

Ben considered his grandmother. She made it sound so simple. He did want her but he could not forget their last night. He had allowed too much already and his pride would not let this one pass. Had it been just sex he could have let it go but it wasn't and he could not. He went to sleep, his grandmother's words on his mind. If only he could wake up and go back to the day before he met her but there were no rewinds and he would learn to go on without her. He was Ben McAdams. He could take a hill, take down a target, fire a kill shot with precision accuracy and stand toe to toe with any man but had met his Waterloo in a pair of sea green eyes.