Destined

Thirteen

Evelyn

"Please go get Alex for me. I have to talk about something important with him."
"Okay, daddy." The look on his face screams shocked because I was so compliant but this gives me more time to be sassy with him. I show a simple smile before heading up the stairs and to the end of the hall. His door was closed and no sounds were being made so I assumed it'd be okay for me to walk in. Yet, with some odd twist of fate, I was once again faced with a shirtless and pantless Alexander.
"Putain de travail. Pourquoi ces gens ne peuvent-ils rien faire de bon sans que je doive le rparer pour eux? Idiots sanglants." He utters when tossing his phone to his pillows. I really do feel bad for whoever works for him and hope they figure things out quickly so he doesn't end up firing their asses. His movements stopped when he saw me at his door. He drops a towel he held in his hands on to the bed without removing his eyes from me. I couldn't tell if he was happy to see me or confused to why I was there not saying anything but, he didn't speak just yet. Instead, his eyes began roaming down my body then back to my face. A sigh left him as my hands found my hips. "There's a thing called knocking." Is the first thing he says to me which left me a tad disappointed, I was hoping for something with more flare.
"There's a thing called I don't care." I lip back.
"Great comeback, I applaud you." I roll my eyes at him. "So is it your goal to see me naked?" He asks.
"Not exactly, it's just my luck." I sarcastically reply.
"Evelyn, is there a reason you're here?"
"Daddy wanted me to come and get you. Said there's something important to tell you." He found a pair of pants and rushed to put them on.
"Don't call him that."
"Why not? He is my daddy after all."
"Just - just don't do it." A shirt is pulled over his torso then I'm ushered out so he could close the door.
"Is there something you're hiding in there?" I ask, placing my hand on the doorknob to only have him remove it seconds later.
"What? No, like you, I just like the door closed."
"Probably hiding your porn stash." I joke.
"Okay, one, a man's porn stash is not something you should ever mention. Two, please never say those two words again. Three, if I had one it'd be so marvelous that I wouldn't want to hide it."
"You're probably into some gross stuff." He looked absolutely horrified with the words coming out of my mouth that I had an urge to burst out laughing but I just couldn't do it.
"Who are you and why is it suddenly okay to talk about this?" He spaced himself from me, holding his hand out to keep the distance.
"It's not, I'm just saying. I guarantee you have a stash so big, it's probably mountain high. And those magazines are most likely filled with gross things. Gross things like you."
"Oh please, we all know you think I'm sexy." His voice was deeper than normal with this response, his body getting closer to mine but not close enough where another smallish person could fit between us. I guess my words weren't bad enough for him to stay away for too long.
"Do not." I declare.
"Really? From what I recall, you were getting-"
"Don't you dare say it." I cut him off.
"Distracted. I distracted you. Come on, admit it so we can move on. You like looking at this, and I wouldn't find that such a problem." I close the space between us, looking at his plump lips before dragging them to meet his gaze.
"I could never admit to something that insane. Keep dreaming buddy." I pat his chest then run off down the stairs, hearing footsteps follow behind.
"Thank you Pumpkin." Daddy calls to me when I deliver Alexander to him.
"Of course daddy."
"Did you drop her as a child?" I hear Alexander ask just as I turn the corner to the living room.
I'm pretty sure I sat alone, without the television on, in the living room for almost two hours. I didn't mind all that much, it was just a lot of thinking and staring at whatever my eyes fell on. There is one thing I know I don't want to do and that is going to school in the morning. It'll be too hard for me, especially because of how I felt when I woke up this morning and then seeing Lia at the grocery store. I can feel myself fall into it again and I don't think I'm prepared for it this time. Usually, I'm pretty good with it. I know when I'm supposed to start comforting myself but everything just hit me so hard this morning that I haven't had any time to do so. Yes, I know that I've been having a difficult time sleeping again but that never shows itself as a "get ready" symptom.
It's almost six o'clock in the morning when I find myself downstairs swallowing a pill with a glass of water. I told my mom that I'd start taking my medication again but I always seem to have a difficult time sticking to it. And it's not like I'm purposely forgetting, I just tend to do that. There's so many other things, or nothing at all, going on in my mind that medicine seems to not even take place there. How am I supposed to think about drugs when I've got a list of things eating away at me? I could easily think about the bad drugs but the stuff that claims to help doesn't seem to want to be thought about.
"Why am I up? I should be asleep like everyone else is at this hour. If I have to take drugs for this, I should probably have to take drugs for my lack of sleep. That makes sense to me." I say out loud into the empty kitchen air.
I sit on the floor in the corner of the kitchen where I can't be seen. My head falls back against the cupboard and I close my eyes to think. Not like I don't do enough of that these days anyway but why not since I left my journal upstairs. Can't write it down now so I'll let the thoughts flow freely.
I feel like I knew that my relationship wasn't going to last. We had almost made it so far that I thought maybe, just maybe, I was wrong. I've come to realize that because of my issues, no one can truly handle being with me. I ruin relationships. Or at least all the ones I've been in in the past. I push people away unintentionally because when I feel a certain way I'm scared it'll show them I'm unstable in some type of way and they'll leave me anyways. It's almost easier to hate everyone so they'll stay away and neither of us will get hurt in the end.
I move my head to the side and open my eyes, seeing a pair of feet at the end of the counter. I look up to a familiar face, revealing my dad. He smiles and slightly shrugs at me. It was a nice feeling to have him sit beside me and let me rest my head on his shoulder (the cupboard was way too hard).
A tear slips down my cheek and falls onto his shirt. His hand brushed through my hair as he kisses the top of my head and shushes me sweetly. "It's okay Pumpkin. It'll all be okay." More tears began to fall because we could only hope that was true but I didn't believe it was. I'm starting to lose hope.
I don't remember drifting asleep but when I woke up I was still in the kitchen only now I was now laying against my dad's chest and he had me wrapped up in his arms. I felt safe. I didn't want anything to ruin this.
My eyes fell on his face, his features were more aged since the last time I was this close to him. His facial hair was beginning to go white in small sections, as well as his full head of hair. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes were almost as dark as mine. His smile lines were becoming more prominent.
"Honey?" I swiftly look over to my mom and listen to her sigh. This used to happen all the time. I wouldn't be able to sleep so I'd come down here and sit, thinking in this corner until daddy would show up and hold me until we both fell asleep. "I thought it was getting better." I shook my head and watched her shoulders slouch. I laid my head back on my dad's chest, feeling my eyes close and my own features scrunch. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Please don't cry.
"Hey Jo, what's going on?" Alexander's voice rung through the room. I'm assuming he set his eyes on what's happening in the corner because everyone was silent for a few minutes. "Jo?" No one responded.
I decided to get up and wake my dad so he could get ready for work. He scratched his head and smiled at me, his tired eyes squinting slightly. "You okay?" I shrugged and he did the same. We stood and he hugged me for a moment before saying he had to get ready for the day.
Going to school was just like how I knew it'd feel. All I could think was do I have to be here? I may have looked nice but I had to face my ex, Daniel, and all the prissy popular girls I hang out with. Yes, I am considered to be popular but that doesn't mean people refuse to go around saying things about me and so that means I definitely don't always enjoy it. There's another girl who is supposed to be my friend because we're in the same social circle but all she's wanted to do since I met her was try to get with Daniel so she could rise to the top of the group. With everything that's been going on, it hasn't been hard for her to do just that.
When I was younger, I never understood how so many people could hate going to a place that taught you things, but I guess now I get it. It's not that people hate learning, it's that people can't stand being around specific others who don't take in consideration what you're feeling or they constantly tell you-you're wrong. No one likes being treated that way. Sadly, these days that's all there is.
"Is it true you and Daniel broke up? I never asked you but you two haven't been anywhere near each other for a couple of weeks now and Ashley is literally trying to get up on his dick in the middle of the hall even though he's totally not into it." Lia asks me when I sit down beside her at lunch. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've been there for you, you know that."
"I haven't even told my parents. About anything, the breakup or all the bullying."
"What about that really cute guy staying at your house?" I stayed quiet and it caused her to get all riled up. "You told him? Has he been helping you get through it by being extra friendly?" She winks at me but I shake my head.
"No, I haven't told him either. He'd ask me why or make jokes as he does and my parents would wonder why too but I really don't want to answer that."
"Will you tell me?"
"It's because of him."
"Because of who?"
"Alexander. He's the reason Daniel dumped me and then it spun out into some other stuff that contributed but it's mainly because of Alexander."
"No shit... Did something happen between you two?"
"No, Alexander and I couldn't dislike each other more than we already do." After I explained the whole situation to her she stares at me for a minute before I could see her gears start turning. I question her but she says nothing besides she'd be coming over after school.
She was the first to charge inside the house and immediately start looking around. "Show me the man."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I want to see the man who single-handedly ruined your relationship and the man you say is an asshole since I didn't really get that whole vibe when I saw you two in the grocery store."
"I don't think he's home at the moment, his car wasn't out front." She looks at me then points through the open doors.
"Is that it?" I turn my head and sigh.
"What are you going to say?" She doesn't answer, she only walks out the door to which I follow and she stops outside of his car door while I wait on the other side of the vehicle. He does his best to open his door without hitting her and stands to look at her.
"Can I help you?" He asks confused.
"You're an awful person."
"Okay let me guess, you're friends with Evelyn. The girl from the store."
"I'm her best friend and you buddy have crossed many lines that I'm not okay with."
"What lines would those be?" His undertone comes across slightly nervous but thankfully she doesn't notice.
"Oh, you know what they are. Don't act like you're so innocent."
"Look, kid, you may think you're making sense but you really aren't."
"I'm not a kid, I'm almost eighteen. And you-"
"Hold that thought kid." He turns to me and raises his eyebrows. "Evelyn, you want to inform me what's happening right now?"
I shrug for the eightieth time today."I actually kind of want to see where this is going."
"Come on brat, tell me." He snapped back to Lia and covered his chest. "Ow! Could you not?"
"I pinched him." She says with a wide toothy smile causing me to chuckle. "Listen here, Alexander-"
"Alex." He corrects, I roll my eyes.
"Fun, I don't care. You ended her relationship and you think you get to be an asshole, thinking you're all high and mighty when that's unfair and so far from the truth."
"Lia..." I can't believe she just said that to him.
"I did what?" I'm glad I couldn't see his face, I didn't want to see the look he was giving.
"I didn't want him to know, I told you that."
"He has to know or he won't understand how terrible he is."
"Lia, please go home." I turned and headed into the house, running up to my room and sitting behind my closed door.
I told her how I felt yet she disregarded it and now here I am crying in my room. Why would she do that to me? Why would she not listen? Now he knows and he's going to say something to my parents, I know he will.
Soon enough, I feel a knock on the door and mumble for him to go away. "Let me in. I'm not leaving until you do." So I got up and opened the door. "You're crying."
"You're Captain Obvious. What do you want?"
"Did I really-"
"Yes."
"I didn't know you two were done."
"Yeah, well, he dumped me during that argument so you can go now that you know."
"Why do you do that?"
"Because I don't like you. I don't like spending time with you. I don't want you near me."
"Well, you're a brat."
"Is that the best you've got? I picked that up. I know I've been a brat."
"What?" Confusion is written all over his face.
"Well with you constantly telling me and plus I was just doing everything to piss you off."
"Wow, I didn't like you before but now I'm really not impressed."
"Good, that's what I was aiming for."
"Jesus Christ. You are a lot of work." The words leave his lips so effortlessly before he does the same, closing me in my room alone for the rest of the night.