No Angel (Chris Brown love story)

IX

Sunday, December 30th

~ Yasmin ~

"Please!" I begged Ant.

"Knowing would really help you get over him."

"I just need a reason. Something to make him seem like a bad person so I can let go of him mentally."

"I didn't bail him out because he was involved with prostitution. You know I don't play about that."

Ant had the strongest hate for prostitution since we were young and one of our mom's boyfriend's used to always have random men coming in and out our mom's bedroom. We didn't connect the dots until we were older but the damage had been burnt into our brains long before.

"He said it was some little shit."

"What I tell you. He'll do anything for some money. Now are you ready to let go?"

I nodded. I don't know if I couldn't believe Rell would do something like that or didn't want to believe it but it made the pill easier to swallow.

"I think I wanna tell Chris I'm ready to be serious. Worst case scenario he doesn't wanna be, and I'll just move on."

It'd been two months since Chris and I established we 'liked' each other but I was still nervous trying to tell him I wanted only him. The last time I told a guy that, it ended bad.

"Wow." Ant looked more surprised than he should be.

"What?"

"Nothin," he shrugged.

"No. What?"

"It's just weird my ex homie is your ex. My current one is yo current man."

"Well if this don't work out. I'm comin for Nick." I referred to his other friend.

"Yeah, no you not finna keep dating my friends."

"He'd be the last one, I promise."

"Go talk to Chris." he pushed me which led to us play fighting.

"Aha! Yo face red." I said as I was leaving.

"Aha! He gon reject yo ass."

My smile turned into a frown cause he always do too much.

"Aha! Jade gone find another nigga." I said since he was starting to like her.

"Now I'm finna knock yo ass out."

He chased me to my car and I got in and locked the doors as he tried to yank the handle.

I stuck out my tongue as I backed out the space and headed to Chris's since I said I was on the way like an hour ago.

"Hey papi." I said as he opened the door and I kissed his cheek.

"You know you only supposed to say you on the way when you actually on the way right?"

"Okay so I had a little detour. I needed to talk to my brother." I said walking into the kitchen and washing my hands before going into the fridge.

"About?"

"Nosy much?"

"I can be as nosy as I wanna be when you drinking my wine."

"Good point." I said pouring him a glass too and we sat at the island bar.

"We chopped it up about our dating lives and he told me why him and Tarell stopped being friends, but I have great news."

"You musta found a space."

"I found a space for the salon! It's so pretty. Everything is white, black or marble. It's not big, but it's perfect. And the previous owner died, so her daughter is willing to sell it to me cause I wanna keep it a salon and not turn it into something else."

"I'm proud of you." he took his glass and clinked mine.

"I honestly couldn't have done it without you. Or maybe I could've but not this soon. Thank you for believing in me."

He smiled and gave me a kiss before sitting back down and we drank in silence.

"What do you see when you see me?" I asked.

"When I see you..."

"Hurry up Fantasia."

He gave me a look and we both busted out laughing.

"When I see you I see an angel. A beautiful, talented, goal driven, fearless, businesswoman with more potential than she can even fathom. More heart than she'd like to admit. And more beauty I have yet to see."

That was the sweetest thing I'd ever been told. I felt my cheeks get warm and turned my face to the side.

"What do you see?"

"My man."

"No for real."

I popped his thigh and he laughed.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It's not what I just see. It's what I feel. I usually hate to just sit and talk with men, but you're different. You're like my safe haven whether it's good or bad you just automatically make it better."

I didn't like the queasy feeling I was getting in my stomach and he made it worse when he gave me another kiss.

"Stop. I don't know what to do with all these emotions." I cringed.

"Give 'em to me." he gave me a goofy smile.

I gave him a kiss and snuck my tongue in his mouth and he pulled me between his legs and grabbed the back of my neck to deepen the kiss.

He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to his room and fell on the bed with me under him.

He took off his shirt and I took off my pants leaving me in only my bodysuit and his lips attacked my neck and chest.

"Chris." I breathed.

I wanted to tell him so bad I wanted more than just this but I was scared of what would happen.

Would I be cool with watching him do him knowing I wanted only him. Would I go back to Tarell cause Chris doesn't want me. Or scariest of all would I have to settle down for the first time in my life.

I was caught off guard by his tongue attacking my second set of lips and I grabbed onto his head as his lips latched on to my clit.

I moaned, gripping his head in my hands and he kept licking and slurping until I came for the second time.

I was nervous cause Chris and I haven't had sex since my birthday. Which scared me more because I don't know how we managed to turn a completely sexual relationship into the opposite.

The thought of telling him this isn't enough, was literally making me nauseous, and my millions of thoughts are freaking me out.

"I can't do this." I sighed.

I got up and put my clothes back on and rushed out the door.

"Yasmin!" he shouted from his door step as I was reaching my car.

"I don't know Chris, whatever answer you're looking for... I don't know." I shrugged, and hurried out his driveway.

~ Anonymous ~

I figured I wanted to leave all my petty ways behind this year and it was just one last thing I had to do before I become more mature.

I looked at Yasmin's name in the upper corner and looked at the addresses they were being sent to before dropping them in mail center's box and walking off.

~~~~
So the letters will be sent and it's about to get messy 😭