Miscellaneous

Until The Day I Die

I remember the day I was diagnosed with stomach cancer. How could I ever forget it? It was only 12 months ago, and time was ticking, but it seemed the more I tried to think of everything else, the more my stomach ached, the more I realized I'm not going to live much longer. That day was the best day of my life; I was kissed- and not by my mom, by a real boy- I was told by my mother we were going to the biggest fair in all of South Carolina, and my best friend Hazel was allowed to come.

That was also the worst day of my life, because as soon as I finally got that first kiss, my stomach felt like it exploded, and I passed out. My mom drove me to the hospital, and then it all went downhill from there. Yes, I remember that day like it was yesterday...

"Come on, Phoebe, we're going to be late for school!"

"Oh, Hazel, be quiet! This'll only take a second."

I sprinted into my room and grabbed my wallet. After school today Mom was taking me and Hazel out to the South Carolina State Fair, and this year I would not forget my money.

"Hurry!"

I dashed out of my room and stuck my tongue out at her. We walked out the door and began the journey to our separate schools.

I'm torn apart from the memory by a horrible ache in my side. I hear a nurse come in, and the sound of her feet shuffling against the tile floor pulls me back into my daydream...

That entire day at school we couldn't focus. All we could think about were the rides, the prizes, the food...

When the day finally ended, Hazel practically sprinted to my school's pick-up line to get to the fair- which was two hours away.

We were staying the weekend up in Columbia so we could stay at the fair. I was an only child, and my dad died in a wreck, so my mom loved doing these 'family bonding' things like wasting her money on hand stamps.

Two hours later, Hazel drank in the sight of the fair, and I indulged myself in the smell of the food. I could hear the engines of the rides turning, smell the carnies selling their overpriced pizza, but I couldn't see it. I couldn't see anything.

When I was two years old, my dad was driving me to my first day of gymnastics class. I felt like such a big girl, riding without a baby seat. The class was in a town about 15 minutes away, so me and my dad cranked up the radio and smiled.

Unfortunately, that was a Friday night, and we were driving past a small pub, and one man decided to go home then. That would be all right- if he hadn't had quite so many drinks.

When he pulled out of the parking lot, he hit the gas and ended up right in front of my father's Ford. Dad slammed on the brakes. Our car swerved, narrowly missing the drunk man's car- but not quite missing a huge oak tree on the right of that highway.

My dad died that night- bled to death out of a head wound. My tiny neck broke, and I barely lived. That night messed something up, and ever since then I've been blind.

My mom unlocked the car and me and Hazel jumped out.

As soon as we did, I slammed into my crush since kindergarten, Hunter. Of course, I couldn't tell it was him, but Hazel did. She nudged me.

"Hunter," she whispered. My heart fluttered.

"Hi, Hunter," I stuttered.

"Hey, Phoebe." I was so happy. Hunter Caliente was talking to me!

Then, he just made me the happiest birthday girl alive.

"Want to ride with me?"

Hazel nudged me, then raised her eyebrows- okay, I didn't see her do it, but when you're best friends with a person you can tell- and I managed to say, "Yes."

He smiled- or so Hazel told me- and grabbed my hand. I wanted to scream with happiness.

I smiled. Hunter. I couldn't see his face, but he sounded cute, and he was so nice! We've been friends since we met in kindergarten. Every time I saw him I silently begged him to ask me out.

After that, we rode the Ferris Wheel together. Hazel didn't ride with us (she was afraid of heights) and so it was just me and Hunter. It was just me, Hunter, at the thought of his lips against mine...

As we reached the top, he put his arm around me. Inwardly I screamed in delight.

"You're beautiful."

I blushed, then said, "I cant see you, but you seem beautiful."

"Thank you." He leaned in closer, and I could smell his cologne.

"I've liked you for a while, Phoebe." My heart raced. Did he really just say that?

"Me, too." What a lame response!

Then, he leaned in closer, and all of my senses woke up (except for sight) and I drank in the moment, the moment I knew I was going to get my first kiss.

As soon as his lips touched mine, my stomach fluttered, but not the pleasant way it did when I knew he was here. I knew this was the moment where fireworks were supposed to dance across my vision, but there was.. nothing.

Nothing except pain.

Horrible, gut-wrenching pain consumed me, and I knew I screamed, but I couldn't even hear it. I knew I was going to puke. As usual, there was nothing for me to see, but my eyes were going foggy, and the last thing I heard were the screams of Hunter.

I sighed, and I felt a little bit of life leave me as I exhaled. Today was my last day. On my sixteenth birthday, I swore I'd fight this thing until I died. Well, here I was, and I wish I could just stop fighting. I was a Christian, so I believed what was after life was better than this suffering.

On that day, once my mom told Hunter what was wrong, he never came back. He never called, never texted, never visited. My so-called true love was a player. I wanted to hit myself. How many hours had I wasted fantasizing about him? Too many.

After that, the boy I'd always hated, Aden, started visiting me. I had to admit, before I only hated him because he was perfect. He was beautiful, mischevious, and anything he wanted, he got. But once I started talking to him, I saw a whole new side of him. Now he was unhappy, and I could tell he wasn't the spoiled brat I thought he was. One day, he told me his name meant 'little fire.' That made me smile. It fit him perfectly.

He was my new crush.

Hazel, however, stopped visiting after about six months. I could tell she was changing without me; she became a cheerleader, wore revealing clothes, and she was boy crazy. She wasn't the sweet little Hazel I knew any longer. About three months later, people started telling me she was pregnant. Sadly, it was hard not to believe them.

Today I was surrounded by people I loved; my mother, Aden, my doctor, Elliot, and my nurse, Sophia. They knew it was the last day they had with me.

As I took in my last breaths, I looked back on my life, and I wasn't satisfied. Almost all the people I trusted and loved before were dead or not the same people anymore. But now, knowing all the people I do, I didn't want to leave. If I lived, I would be happy to live my life out with my new friends.

I could hardly breathe now, and with every heartbeat I knew it was true. In less than an hour, I'd be in Heaven.

Tears slipped down my cheeks, and Aden grabbed my hand. I smiled.

"Happy 18th," he whispered in that soft voice of his.

I couldn't talk, but I hoped he could see the pure joy on my face.

"I love you, Phoebe." it was barely audible, but there it was, out in the open. "Do you- do you love me?"

I used all of my energy to utter my last word.

"Yes."