Miscellaneous

Forgive Me

This is for @Allie_Grace's story competition. It is based off of Taylor Swift's Eyes Open. Hope you enjoy :)

"Look-- everyone's watching. You have to stay on guard; never let them see your bad side. They'll hate you-- you'll be anotehr stupid, stupid celebrity." Ede's words ring in my ears as I wait for them to call my name.

"Now, welcome your favorite superstar, Taylor Millarke!" the words are painstakingly clear, practically burning a hole through my head.

 I step onto the stage, inwardly about to die. I don't let the audience see that. I smile and wave while they scream.

"First, I'm going to be singing 'Head in the Clouds," I say. My voice doesn't shake, but I feel as if I am going to puke.

They scream some more, and I smile encouragingly, and the music starts.

"The thing is, we've been friends since the day we met. The thing is, I may be in love," I begin singing the stupid song. It doesn't relate to me at all, but I sing anyways. I don't think I sound good, but I sing anyways.

In reality, the thing is, it seems like just yesterday I was a kid. I played soldiers, dreamed dreams with happy endings. It was so easy then, but now I've stepped into a cruel world where it seems as if everyone is waiting for me to mess up. Ede had warned me not to step into the hell that is being a celebrity, but I had ignored my best friend. Now, I crave my innocence-- I crave not being known.

So, here I am, waiting for someone to boo me off the stage. Every word they say forms a new scar-- metaphorically, and sometimes literally.

"I'm just a girl with her head in the clouds. You are a guy who's stuck on the ground. Come put your head in the clouds, meet me up in the clouds," the chorus comes out of my mouth choppily and I inwardly groan. How do they like this crap?

"Turn around-- they've surrounded you. It's a showdown, and I can't save you now. But, listen, you have something they don't. You have talent. Don't let them change you. You just have to stay on guard, and let them see the real you-- the talented you. Don't turn into another pretty face. Make them remember you."

If only Ede were here now. I wish she was sitting in the front row, smiling, encouraging me to go on, as she had my first couple of concerts. My selfishness won over, though, and now she's at home, ignoring me.

"My head's in the clouds, get my head out the clouds, come get your head in the clouds. I'll save you from the ground, come get your head in the clouds," I conclude. I hadn't listened to Ede, and now I'm just another stupid pop star.

"You have something they don't."

I'm not going to sing the songs those idiots write me-- I'm going to do something else.

"This next song," I begin, following the script, but then abandoning it, "is for my friend Ede Wihum. I'm sorry, Ede. I hope you can forgive me."

At first, I thought she wasn't here, but now, I could see she her.

And she wasn't smiling.

"I'm sorry," I repeat. The audio people have no idea what to play, but I motion for them to hand me my guitar.

The drummer hands me my guitar, and I whisper, "Play the draft."

"But-- there are no words! What are you going to sing?"

"Don't worry about it." I grin and walk back up to the microphone. The drum begins behind me, and I strum a chord on the guitar. 

The intro ends, and it's time for me to sing. I improvise with the words I had wished to tell her for the past two years I've been famous.

"I've messed up a couple times, but you dug me out, blood and tears. I made bad desicions, and that's not alright, but I hope that you can listen to my story."

The words don't rhyme, but they contain a rhythm that had never existed in my previous songs.

"I know I'm here today because I met you. I know this isn't quite enough to make up for my faults-- but I just want to say I'm sorry."

I ease closer to the microphone and strum the guitar even louder as I begin the third verse.

"Even when I doubted you, even when I was losing faith, you told me to keep trying, to never give up to fate. Now, looking in your eyes I see just how good you've been to me."

"I just want to say I'm sorry. Sorry for the things I've done, sorry for ignoring you, sorry for not saying I love you. This might sound sappy it might sound weird, but it's everything I haven't done in years."

"I just want to say, I'm sorry." I conclude, and the audience claps. Ede smiles slightly-- just enough for me to tell that she forgives me.

Even when I step off the stage and Ede embraces me, her killer voice still screams in my ear desperately. "You're not good enough! You'll mess up! They will hate you forever, and you'll just be another stupid celebrity."

But, wait. Ede had never said that. She had always been supportive-- I had pushed her away. It was my own stupid mind that had messed me up. It was never Ede's fault. I am just an idiot, and it's my fault I haven't talked to her for a year.

"I'm so sorry, Ede. I'm sorry. I thought you were mad at me. I thought you said all these nasty things. I thought that I had to--"

"I don't care, Taylor. I never cared. I was never mad at you-- just confused. But it's okay now."

"Thank you."

The announcer calls another name, and another victim steps onto the stage.