Lies, hate but her

3

Special chapter. Regina's pro

I'm sat in the doctors office with her opposite. Her name is Lisa. Emma is outside because I asked her to. I wanted to be alone for this.

"So madam mayor how can I help you" Lisa asked as she sat down on the chair.

"You said I wouldn't forget names yet right" I asked trying not to sound panicked or worried.

"You shouldn't forget big things yet. Maybe names from your past like your first kiss or first best friend. Who did you forget" she asked looking down at her paper work about me.

"My dad. I forgot his name and I go see his grave every Sunday" I replied as my left hand began to shake.

"Regina it's ok. Calm down. Sometimes we forget things. It might not be the Alzheimer's. Your overthinking this because your scared. I know detective swan out there came back today. That can affect your mind. Seeing someone you were close with again can make you fear what you will loose" Lisa explained in a soft voice to sooth me but really it's scaring me more.

"Is there any way you can speed this up" I asked knowing this is a crazy request.

"Excuse me"

"Can you speed it up to the day I die? Like make it sooner than 2 years. I don't want my family to go through this pain and I don't want to. Can you make my memory loss any faster or give me something that will kill me" I asked trying to stop my shaking hand and control myself.

"Mayor mills you are predicted at least another 2 years yet. New drugs are being made and tested everyday. By then we may have a cure for this" she formally said sounding like I was crazy.

"Who you trying to kid? I'm going to die. There won't be a cure in 2 years unless a miracle happens. Plus we both know I'm probably not making it that long. I saw it in your eyes when I said I forgot my dads name. My brain is dying faster than you thought isn't it" I asked knowing I'm right.

"Yes it is a lot faster than we thought. Usually the Alzheimer's doesn't affect people this fast. We may have diagnosed you early. You may be a year into it already" she replied reading from her sheet in a soft tone.

"I'm going to ask again. Is there any way you can speed this up or kill me" I asked sitting forward in the chair.

"No. We can't speed it up and legally we can't give you anything to kill you. You just need to be with your family" Lisa replied as she softly placed her hand over mine.

"Why? I'm going to die. Why not just kill me now and put everyone out of there misery" I asked with a sigh of annoyance.

"Excuse me for two seconds" she requests as she stood up.

Lisa left the room before I spoke. I looked down and thought about my request I just made. I know it's crazy but I don't want this anymore. I know it's not going to affect me later in life but my family watching me die isn't something I'd wish upon them. This isn't something I'd wish on anyone. After a few seconds the door opened. I looked round to see Lisa and Emma walking into the room.

"Em what you doing" I asked confused at her.

"The doctor asked me to come talk to you. Gina you can't ask her that. There ain't anything that will make this experience faster" she softly says holding my hands.

"I didn't ask your opinion. If no one can help me then fine but I don't need you to tell me this Emma" I say as I stood up. I'm grouchy and snappy because of my lack of sleep and anger. I don't want Emma to forgive me. If she does then she will fall back in love and me dying will break her heart again. I'm not letting her do this to herself. "Go wait back outside please. Im not done talking to the doctor" I say looking forward at Lisa.

"Just want to help" Emma says as she stood up.

She left the room leaving me looking down upset. When the door closed I looked up at Lisa. She was sat awkwardly staring at me.

"How long before I forget her" I asked hoping she is one of the last things.

"I can't say for certain" she simply replied.

"How long until I forget I'm miserable and I stop noticing" I asked as I felt the tears in my eyes built a wall.

"I'm afraid not long. I think you're dying sooner than I thought" Lisa replied looking disappointed at me.

"I hope I do. 2 years is too long for me. I don't want my daughter and who I class as my son having to watch me die. I don't want Monica watching me die and I really don't want Emma to watch me die. If there is any possible way this can be sped up then give it to me. I beg off you" I asked trying not to be scared or want to cry.

"We will be in contact and try everything we can to make sure you go comfortably. I'm sorry madam mayor. This will be tough for you but my advice it to not fight it. You'll feel worse" she replied sitting forward and holding my hand to comfort me.

"May I leave"

"Yes. I'll keep in contact if we need you"

I stood up and grabbed my bag. I walked out to see Emma stood against the wall looking at her phone. I wish Monica didn't call her. I don't want to put her through all of this. It's too painful to think I'm not going to remember her. It's too painful to think I ruined any chance I had with her and now I'm dying.

"Em" I softly say to get her attention. She looked up at me and smiled slightly. That's when my eyes teared up. I tried smiling back but I barely could. "I'm sorry. You don't have to stay. You can go back to your mum"

"Your more important to me" Emma replied still holding her small smile.

A tear slipped out. I walked over to her and straight into her arms. I can't do this anymore. I love her... but I have to let her go. And with that thought I pulled away and looked down.

"Lets go" I simply request trying to hid my emotions.