Lies, hate but her

7

The next day I knocked on Regina's front door. Freddie was still at the car getting the baby out. Regina answered it and looked surprised to see me.

"Emma?What are you doing here" she asked looking happy but confused in here.

"We phoned yesterday we're coming over" I say with a slight chuckle.

"Ow sorry I either forgot and Monica is useless" she replied giggling a little. Her gaze then traveled down my body and stopped at my stomach. She frowned at it and looked confused. "Weren't you fat" she asked now looking up at me.

"No" I say almost laughing out loud. "I was pregnant" I say knowing she forgot that I was.

"Pregnant? That's when you have a baby right? Where's the baby" she asked looking around at my legs to find a baby.

The sound of a baby crying then came from behind me. We both looked round to see Freddie holding Veronica behind.

"Mum she won't stop crying" he says holding her out to me.

I chuckled slightly as I took the baby. Regina was looking at the baby curiously. I smiled at her and she then smiled back.

"You have a baby? Ow my god! What the name" she asked smiling brightly at the now silent baby girl in my arms.

"Veronica. I had her last night" I replied smiling softly at Regina's beautiful reaction.

"Awe em she looks like you. Come in. Monica will steal her from you so fast" Regina offers as she stood out the way.

Me and Freddie walked into the house. He quickly hugged Regina and she kept her arm around his shoulder. Monica came down and saw us.

"Ow my god! You had the baby" she says walking quickly to us.

"Yep. Little Roni" I replied with a giggle at her reaction to this.

"Can I hold her" she asked making me and Regina both laugh.

"Sure. Here" I say now placing the baby carefully into her arms.

"Emma can I talk to you quick in the kitchen" Regina asked as she slipped her hand into mine.

I nod softly causing her to pull me towards her kitchen. Once in she let go and walked to the island. I stood wondering what she could want to speak about. I saw her pick up a piece of paper with what looked like a letter.

"What's that" I asked stepping a little closer to her.

"I'm not sure if I mentioned a list about things I want to do before I die. I don't remember anything on this list or even writing it but one of them on there was to give you this letter and say sorry. I read it and I'm really sorry em" Regina softly replied as she held the letter towards me with her eyes slightly glassy.

I took the letter from her hand. I'm now curious as to what is on it. I began reading.

Em. By now I probably don't even remember doing this but I do know I need to apologise for it. This is one of the only things I'm grateful I'm forgetting but I remember the look you gave me and it broke my heart. When I said Monica's name in bed and said I slept with her is was all by purpose. I never slept with her. I said her name intentionally. I wanted to sabotage the situation and the only way I could think of was that. Monica knows one of the reasons so ask her but the other reason is because no matter how much I tried and no matter how much I hated myself for this. I still don't fully forgive you for breaking my heart all those years ago. I love you with all my heart and if you can find it in you some how then please don't hate me. Please help me through this.
Love Regina xxx

"Whoa... Regina do you remember any of the things said in this letter" I asked looking down shocked at it.

"No but I'm so sorry. I don't remember any of it but reading that made me cry and broke me. I never meant to hurt you. I know I didn't. I must have not been thinking straight or something. I also don't remember I love you. I don't remember anything anymore. But I am falling in love with you all over again. You don't have to love me. Just forgive me please because I can't do this without you" her voice was soft but cracked.

Seems like all of this is because of forgiveness. One of us always can't forgive the other. My choice right now is this. Forgive her and break this circle of forgiveness. Or I listen to my gut and just be there for her through this. I made my choice. I have to do this. For her.

"I forgive you... but I'm sorry I don't love you" I say not sure if I'm lying anymore.

"It's ok. To be honest I can't remember what love is anymore. Your a good friend Emma" Regina said pulling me into a hug tight.

"So are you Gina. Do you want to hold Roni? I'm sure she wants to meet her other mum" I say smiling softly at the fact this will make her so happy.

Regina pulled away and looked shocked at me. She smiled brightly but still surprised.

"The other mum? Emma have you already asked me this and I forgot" she asked looking so happy at me.

"No I'm asking you now. I was going to give her away but I decided to keep her. I want you to be one of her mums" I asked holding both her hands in mine.

"Ow my god em. Of course I will... but are you sure I'm the right person to. I mean I am going to die in over a year they predicted" she replied looking worried now that she won't be there.

"I still want you to help raise her. Your practically Freddie's mum so you can help by being my daughters mum. Also I believe your memory will last you longer than you think" I say softly smiling at her to reassure her.

"Thank you. I'm really trying" Regina said looking into my eyes with that look of love she has always given.