Lies, hate but her

12

Special chapter. Freddie's pro

I'm sat at Monica and Regina's house. A few hours ago I told mum I got a girl pregnant and like I predicted she was furious. I've been talking to Monica about it.

"Mon it was crazy. I only done it at first because a mate dared me to see if I can get her when we were drinking in a park" I sighed as I sat on the sofa next to her.

"You know back in England I was a huge trouble maker. I was very tall for a 16 year old back then so I got into any club I wanted. I use to smoke and make out with woman I was too young for. I done some crazy things back then and I regret it so much. What I'm trying to say is just think more before doing it" Monica says softly while placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I know. I can't believe I done it but I did. I just don't want to tell Fredrick. He's gonna get all dad on me" I sighed looking miserable at the floor.

"Why don't you want that? You finally have him back in your life and he's clearly a good dad to Roni" Monica asked trying to cheer me up.

"He's not!  He's a horrible man and I refuse to have him as a dad" I snapped annoyed at what she said.

"Freddie calm down. He is a good dad and your still his son"

"No I'm not. I don't want to be his son anymore. I never was. He's not my dad and I will never call him it" I cut in as I stand up angry at the thought.

"Freddie bloody hell stop" she quickly says sounding the most British she has ever. She stood up and held my shoulder while looking at me. "What's this really about? He's a good dad to your sister"

"That's the thing" I replied with my eyes starting to tear no matter how hard I try to hid it. "Why wasn't I good enough" I asked holding the water back difficulty.

"What do you mean" she curiously asked looking slightly confused.

"He was there when Roni was born. He is raising her as a great dad. He stuck around. That means Fredrick was always capable of being a good dad... I just wasn't good enough for him" I replied letting a single tear escape before wiping it quickly.

"Ow Freddie. I hate to say this but he technically left your mum not you. I know there's no good reason for what he did but no matter what he is still your dad. You can't stay mad at him forever" Monica softly said as she pulled me into a hug.

I slipped out her arms and stepped back. I'm so annoyed at him and I hate him with a passion.

"No. He stuck around for mum and for Roni. He didn't stick around for me. When he first came back he barely spoke to me and just hit on mum. He's a useless piece of shit and I don't want him as a dad" I snapped now not upset just angry.

"Freddie calm down and don't say that language around your mum she will kill you" she softly says looking a little surprised I swore.

"Sorry but I refuse. I'm 3 years younger than he was when he got mum pregnant and I'm sticking around for my baby" I shout so furious I'm not shouting at her but I am shouting out of anger.

"Freddie sshh. Aubrey is sick and asleep" Monica quickly said while looking upstairs. She paused for a few seconds then looked back at me. "You can be angry all you want but don't wake her up. She's a fucking nightmare when ill because she's the only kid that doesn't milk it and instead denies she's stick" Monica sigh as she relaxed a little more.

"Sorry. I don't mean to shout but he pisses me off. That man is a fucking son of a bitch and I hate him" I say trying not get angry but I am.

"I know. I hate him too. He's an idiot and he should of been there for you but he wasn't. You can't change the past but you can change the future. You can choose to tolerate him and accept he is your sisters dad. You don't have to accept him as yours. Just accept him" Monica softly said as she placed her hand on my shoulder with a slight smile.

"What's my other choice" I asked not wanting to forgive Fredrick.

"You don't tolerate him and you don't accept him. You stay angry while everyone else moves on. You'll feel lonely. I hate to say it mate but it's true. Not forgiving him you'll miss out. That's your choice. You don't have to make it now but you do have to make one" she was speaking softly and sweetly at me.

I sat down thinking about it what she said. I have my elbows on my knees holding my head up. My gaze pointing to the floor. I'm really trying to think. I don't know what to do. My life is just falling apart and I'm so scared. My eyes teared up and I couldn't care right now if I cried.

"Why is all this happening? I have no dad. I'm going to loose one of my mums. My other mum is worried about everyone and stressing. My 17 year old ex girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. Her new boyfriend threatened to kill me. I'm 15 and I can't do this anymore" I say breaking down in my hands.

Monica sat down and put her arms around me. She kissed my head and held me close to her. She was like the cool aunt type. I hugged her back now starting to cry on her shoulder a little.

"Sweetie it's ok. Your life will sort itself out. Your 15 so it's going to get better. Tomorrow talk to both your mums together. Best combination. They don't know it but they are the best team. Tonight they will be very drunk and home late. Those girls can't go out for one drink ever" Monica says making me giggle at the last part.

"Thanks Monica. Also your right. There great together. No one else knows this but me and mum but we named Roni that because that's the name that was given to Regina in mums book. We didn't want to name her Regina because it was too obvious so we went with her fake name" I admit with a chuckle at the thought of it.

"So that book is actually true. I thought it was fake or tweaked" Monica replied with a laugh of surprise.

"Yeah it's all true. I'm surprised neither of them told you" I say nodding with a laugh.

"Well that's sweet of you. I know you chose the name" she softly said as she rubbed my shoulder and smiled.