Dear diary,
I haven't been able to get ahold of AJ. I tried calling, I've tried texting... no answer, no reply. It's unlike her and it's really got me worried. I tried calling her mom and the only thing she could tell me was that AJ had took 2 months off from work. She didn't know where AJ was, nor did she know where she would go.
I tried searching for her on this app we have that we used to locate each other in case of emergency, but her location won't ping on my end. It was as if she had dropped off the face of the Earth. I'm so worried about her.
She had dropped a major bomb on me the last time we had spoken on the phone. She had told me that she was in love with me but I couldn't reciprocate those feelings for her. I used to have those feelings, but since we grew apart these last few months, my feelings have changed. I've realized that how we were before was impractical. I was young and foolish to think I could have had a chance with her. I hate to say, but I did manipulate myself into her life.
I took advantage of the fact that she lived a lonely, bland life and I splashed it with forbidden love and color. I told her... I told her that I had the biggest crush on her a few months into us hanging out. But she rejected me then... She rejected and I was heartbroken, so I did the most to prove to her that I could be that kind of person in her life. The type of person she could love forever, regardless of age. No matter what I did, she still withheld from me.
Then one day, it seemed like she was starting to cave in to the thought of "US". We grew closer, inseparable... We slept in the same bed, we cuddled, we held each other... There were times when we would go for drives in her car and she would grab my hand and hold onto it while she drove. Her house soon because our house, her car... Ours. We had never made it a point to truly say how we felt, but I knew I felt her love for me radiate off of her.
I must admit, I had still loved her when I left for Uni, but now... now I'm unsure of it. I'm a bit older, a bit wiser... I realized I took advantage of her love and kindness. But after that last phone call, it was me who had rejected her this time. I think I might have shattered her heart... Is it too late for me to worry for her?
