Lost in between.
Tears falling on my sleeve.
Unfounded, lost of air, slow touch and seasoning.
Grown but well off to resembling a child.
I was given this disease for a reason, as a child I went through much teasing and I had to learn to cope and pray.
With God's promise I will find a better way.
Hospital beds are full , sometimes the nurses are mean, that act as if they have never seem a person in pain, with yellow eyes and cries.
Screams because pain is pulsing throughout my veins, taking over my body, causing my head to feel like it would burst, I try thinking of my son and put him first.
If I left this world he may not be alone but there are a lot of things he'd be left to do on his own.
I'm not a person that gives up ;easily quits.
Although
I have on occasions thought about slitting my wrist.
When frustration takes over and consumes my soul.
Doctors have cared and helped me feel whole.
I've been told that I'm brave and way to young to prepare my own grave.
Big dreams along with hopes.
I now take life seriously.
Though some things are still jokes.
Like finding a cure!
Like spreading awareness!
Like all the questions asked about why I smile when in so much pain.
All the lies told without anything to gain.
All the children that will suffer.
Having a mother who doesn't know your pain, never knows when to trust you or when its a game, hiding you from everything in fear that you will get sick, enduring heavy burdens , and being a genie pigs because some prick wants to get rich.
Never knowing if you can exceed because of fear that you can't imagine and probably won't believe!
My blood levels are so low that my skin is cold.
I'm always chilling,feeling a little below freezing, nothing that I can do now will be pleasing, everything is a tease and...
At this game I feel like I've been beaten!
I'm drained!
No energy ...that fact is right.
But I'm gone try to overcome this with all my might.
I will be on my toes like socks the year!
Yeah,.....
I'm here....
My medication dosage has pushed up and I could barely do a push!
No luck.
How will I ever tell my son to say no to drugs?
When ever since I was born I grew up on more poison than the average thug!
I understand that I wasn't given a choice but truth is I still let the emotion behind that get to me.
I feel filthy.
Dirty, like I lost my purity!
My soul hangs on by a thread.
I dread everyday.
Each crisis makes me even worst.
Picturing living but being lifeless.
The things I go through on a daily basis I think would make a grown man that doesn't believe in God,
Believe in God!
Stop lying , lay back and leave all his pride.
I hide behind smiles facing the fact the most of my caretakers will never understand my disease like I understand my disease, so the only option left is for me to become ...
Best friends with the enemy!
Sickle cell is every bit of who I am!
It teaches me to love with every piece of my heart.
It help guide me in the right direction when I feel lost.
Just being able to stay focus in this body of mine is an mastered art!
I became best friends with the thing I thought to be my enemy.
This isn't a disease but a gift to me.
God has bestowed it upon me because he puts nothing on us that we can't bear.
I'm here and I HAVE SICKLE CELL.
it doesn't have me.
Yes, my finger ache just from writing this poem but I'm not done yet, somebody like me with struggles and fears will read this piece of literature and maybe they will see stars from the twinkles in sky.
This shall remind them to always shine bright, take all evil and set free within the light!
