you're too flawed. believe me, i would know. I've been sailing this ship of destruction across the sea of desperation searching for island of hope and yet all around me is water. eventually, I'll drown but until then i don't need extra baggage. it's mean, i know. when you've been through the things i have, listened to mermaid song about sweet freedom and been able to resist, fought the monsters trying to pull you down and most importantly found will to survive this hell you learn that cruelty is just side effect of living.
