Joker Smutty One-Shots

Harley Quinn/Joker Threesome Smutty One-shot.

"Mistah J's been distant lately" You sighed, pushing an olive around the bottom of your martini. It wasn't like your Puddin' to push you away for so long. You knew he had mood swings, but they never lasted more than a week, two tops. It's been a month and you hadn't even touched each other once in that time. He hadn't even taken you on any heists or anything. You chugged down your drink.

"Geesh, I'm sorry Harls" You glanced up, studying the cocktail waitress. She was one of Mistah J's girls. A waitress at one of his clubs. You'd taken over this club for the last month, wasting away every night here. Hoping maybe he'd come in, even if it was to partake in some fruit that wasn't yours. Your eyes slid over her body. She was beautiful, one to even rival yourself, a smirk lifted the corner of your mouth. You could appreciate her beauty, she leaned across the table, refilling your glass. Her breasts filling your vision. No wonder she was one of his favorites. She finished, standing back to her full height, and you leaned forward.

"Ya know, I bet we could cheer up our Mistah J" You batted your lashes at her, and she chuckled softly, pushing a stray hair behind her ear. Her dark eyes fluttered about, avoiding your gaze, "Come on, sweetie" You pouted, reaching a hand out to grab hers, "Dontcha want our Daddy to be happy?"

"Course' I do, Harls" She smiled nervously, your fingers played in her hand, turning it over you gazed at her wrists, running your fingertips across it with your other hand.

"You'll help me then?" You tilted your head at her, giving her your best puppy-dog pout. Her eyes fluttered away again, and a blush spread softly across her cheeks.

"How?" She asked, and you dropped her hand, leaning back in your seat. A grin appearing on your face. You giggled.

"It'll be easy sweetcheeks" You hopped up, "Come on" You brushed past her, "I'll take ya to him" You turned to her, skipping backward towards the door. She glanced towards the bar, her shift wasn't over for hours, "Oh don't worry about it, would ya" You waved the thought away, "J's the boss, and he'd never let one of his prize girls go just cause' she was trying to cheer'em up" She nodded, setting down the tray she used to carry drinks.

—

"Puddin'!" You sang, opening the door to your apartment. His girl followed behind you like a lost puppy, hugging her hands to her chest. You giggled at the sight of her. So out of place here. So innocent, so naive. J would have so much fun with her, "Puddin'!" You twirled down the hall, "I brought a gift home for my Mistah J".

His growl echoed through the hall, "Whatever it is I don't want it, Harley" His voice was rough, you stopped twirling with a pout.

"You don't even know what it is yet, Mister!" You crossed your arms, stepping into his vision. He was sitting in the living room, a bottle of scotch in one hand. The fireplace was going, and heat radiated through the room. He tipped the bottle back, swallowing down a huge gulp. You watched his Adam's apple bounce up and down. The bottle left his lips, and he threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall behind you. Shards of glass and drops of scotch rained down around you.

"I said I don't want it" He glared at you. A black smile was drawn around his lips. You didn't know why he was such a mopey bastard lately, but you were determined to get your Puddin' back. You placed your hands on your hips and leaned forward.

"Well that's too bad, Mistah" You giggled, and motioned for his toy to come out of the hall. Her hands, still clutched to her chest, were white-knuckled. She looked absolutely terrified, and you loved it. She stepped out, her heels clicking softly against the tile. He raised an eyebrow, and you swear you saw a smirk play at the edges of his mouth, even if just for a second.

"What's this?" His voice peaked with interest and you grinned.

"Hi, Mistah J" She waved softly at him, her hair falling into her eyes. You placed a hand on her shoulder, pushing her forward slowly. You wrapped your arms around her.