My Diary

5-14-2019

9:52 am- This morning i felt pretty good and confident for once, i almost had a panic attack when on discord S wrote "i swallowed soap on accident", i swear on day shes going to swallow something that will end her, i was really worried and asked a question that had already been answered by her and she wrote "i just said this was a fucking accident did you just skip that"... i dont do well when people swear at me so i wrote "I'm sorry, I just worry... I'm sorry, your just one of the few people I actually trust, and I worry about you, I'm sorry" so yeah, i hate it when this happens afterwards we apoligised and by we i mean me... a bunch of times... im a very "submissive" person as some would say.

12:26 pm- Finally finished the NWEA i started on friday last week, i sent a link to this to N cause he wanted to read it, if he see's this than, Hi N, also i have weird dreams now i cant sleep as much, i got good sleep last night tho, i feel pretty ok even though yesterday i was sick, language arts is killing me irl, my mom said this weekend "im going to send you to beacon if you dont like it than ill try to get you into Century so you can be with your friends" thanks mom ily, im still trying to calm down from when S swallowed soap and swore at me, the only person i can take swears from is N, cause we are like frienimes and we verbally fight sometimes, bit from someone i thought of as a mother figure it broke me, also theres this girl ill call her Mel and she just said ill take you book for you im so happy.

12:27 pm- Omg i just watched my grou dissect frogs, im both terrified and excited aaaahhhhh, omg im kinda shaking, omg omg omg, what if giants use humans to diccect? Aaahhhhh.

1:19 pm- I didnt eat... i couldnt... im so not hungry right now, agghhh, i0hate this so much dissecting a frog makes me wanna puke but i cant look aw17t3ay.

2:14 pm- Ok so instead of the 7th and 8th grades going to their classes we went to choir, and when we are in our classes, for me its PLTW, 6th graders go to choir the whole choir group in one tiny room... i almost had a panicattack legit the only times i wasnt panicing i was singing. Also the girl sitting next to me was a Bitch i swear i was about to have a panic attack and i accidently bumped my thigh on her thigh and she looked at me like i was litteral garbage... she stared at me in digust... I hate her, im glad S was on the other side of me... if she wasnt there i would either pass out or fight the other girl.

5:37 pm- I just got a bike I'm so happy, also im alot more confident and extroverted in the summer it's kinda weird, I need to get E's number before I leave for highschool.