Hearts Will Remember

Chapter 12 - Shancai

At the sight of Xiaozi smiling at Dao Ming Si, my mind snapped to a scene of him kissing her while I looked down at them feeling like my heart was shattering into pieces. The reality of the past 10 years hit me like a blunt object. Try as we might to pretend that the past 10 years didn't matter because we didn't remember each other, the fact remained that 10 years did happen. Dao Ming Si had lived those 10 years without any knowledge of me. As I did. People have come and gone in our lives in those years. And people have stayed. Just like Xiaozi seemed to have stayed in his life.

Xiaozi's eyes whirled to mine when she heard me say her name, surprise and confusion evident on her face. For a moment, I saw her expression harden, then she controlled it with a smooth smile.

"Shancai? Wow, this is so unexpected. Where have you been all these years?" Her eyes went back to Si fleetingly, then she walked up to me and pulled me into a stilted hug. Over her shoulder, I watched Dao Ming Si close the door then place his hands inside his pockets, then look at me uncertainly.

I patted her shoulder and smiled at her. "I've been living here in New York for the past 10 years. How have you been?" I asked genuinely. Xiaozi had always been my friend in the past and had supported me and Dao Ming Si.

"I am good! I just arrived from London actually." She then turned to Si, who has not uttered a word since he opened the door. "Ah Si, I'm sorry for barging in. I called earlier this morning and left you a message when you didn't pick up. I'm staying with a friend who just bought a unit here so I took a chance to come by just in case you're home."

"I saw the missed call from you but I didn't have a chance to check my voice mail." I narrowed my eyes at him at this news. I know it's irrational, but I couldn't help feeling hurt that he kept this from me after what happened between us. My first instinct was to hide behind my insecurity and behave like the old Shancai when I gave up Dao Ming Si to Xiaozi. Twice. Then I realized I was not the same Shancai from 10 years ago. The past 10 years had taught me how to know what I want, go after what I want and break down obstacles, even if they were my own doubts. Suddenly, my answer to Ah Si's question earlier about how I saw us now became clear.

"Xiaozi, we're kind of in a middle of something. Would you mind if we call you later? Maybe we can have a late lunch or something." I took hold of Xiaozi's arm, subtly leading her to the door. She looked at me with narrowed eyes then nodded.

"Of course, some other time then. I still have jet lag anyway, so we can do lunch one of these days. I will be in New York in the next 2 weeks because I am helping my friend decorate her apartment."

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Closing the door after Xiaozi, I took a moment to collect myself.

When I turned around, I saw Ah Si walk towards me and was about to open his mouth to speak. I lifted my hand to stop him.

"Ah Si, I'd like to say something first." He stopped on his tracks and gazed at me with an unreadable expression.

"What happened just now made me realize we cannot just ignore the past 10 years. We had lived individual lives and we've had experiences and formed relationships without each other, which helped us become what we are now." I took a couple of steps forward and stood directly in front of him, looking up into his achingly handsome face.

After 10 years, Ah Si has matured to become one of the most devastatingly attractive person I've ever met. When I met him a decade ago, being the aggressive, hot-tempered and oftentimes immature leader of F4 lent him that arrogant, preppy bad-boy air. Now, he exuded the confidence of a very self-assured and successful man. I found myself instantly attracted to him when I first took a good look at him while he was making calls in his office yesterday. Quite a lot of things had happened in a span of 24 hours. Seeing him after remembering our times together made me throw all cautions to the wind and acted based solely on my feelings.