Albino Child

Twenty Four

"What do you mean? What have I done to make you think of me in that light, please tell me," I begged desperately, I had spent the majority of my hours of my short, lethargic life outside of the facility trying to forget what was there, for to now ask someone about the memories I lost was illogical but felt necessary.

"It is not only what you have done but also what you did not do," her face fell and twisted forwards as if she was more interested in the architecture in front of her, regardless of this, she still carried on but this time in a mere wisp that ebbed softly in the starting breeze, "You were the idol of the group, you were the perfect child that was a cut above the rest; when other people struggled, you completed tasks with ease - what more, the heartless part that makes me think... negatively of you is most likely your lack of remorse as you saw them writhe in pain, you just ignored their desperate cries and sometimes even rubbed alcohol into their wounds. You are not human A. Not human. There is no humanity, emotion or understanding of the boundaries within you; you have no care within you. You walk beside people you call pawns and only think of what use they can be to you, manipulation is one of your greatest assets that you never think twice about using; if you can gain control, you will do it. You will never settle for anything under the best which does motivate you to perform great feats but it does also mean that you grow distant after a while, which causes people like N to worry - but not like you care anyway."

She was right, as much as I hated to admit it, she was absolutely correct about my tendency to annihilate anything in my path; control means almost everything to me, but I never realised that I was that I was harsh to other people in the sense that I sneered at the peasants, I was well aware that I was better than others but not in the arrogant sense, it was just clear that I excelled in topics people found obstacles within.

"You have no regret, not a heart within you. You are just a hollow shell with failing organs, brittle bones and a callous mind; there is not sympathy or empathy receptor within your brain which means you just do anything without caring for any of us. When that day occurred, you did not turn to help any of your peers or subordinates, you just stood for a split second and absorbed the agonising sound of their pained voices which howled into the sky, after that, you just ran without a damn thought of helping them. You did not even turn to see them, just a momentary pause to just remember their sound and then off you went, into the quagmire-like fog that curled into the trees; I remember every detail as to when you did that. I attempted to save them-"

I cut her off, "You only helped them because you were frightened of the conveniences; you were terrified of their souls and spirits coming after you and haunting you forever, you went back for your own sake, not theirs. You turned back because you were a coward that has their priorities wrong in the world, you would have thought after being in the facility for that long, you would have thought that you would have realised that you must always prioritise yourself regardless of these feelings you seem to deem important. Paranoid. That's what you are, the name Lieblingsgott christened you as when he took you out the cradle. It is the aspect that echoes down the corridor of your mind, you are so easy to read P, if M knew of this you, you would be easy meat you know? Your name is your weakness, it is for all of us."

"Well, I can confirm that you have my name correct," she agreed in a somber whisper, the hollowness of her hoarse voice was coarse and rough as she murmured through clenched teeth, "I cannot deny that M would destroy me if he knew but then again, I know his real name so it evens things out... Anyway, as I was saying about you, in the facility I had the same impression of you as many of your lowly classmates: you were the top of the class due to your cold nature, your aesthetic outward beauty was unparalleled by the majority and you were amongst the elite within the facility. Rivalled by only Ob or O, she was your partner, the only one to actually have a chance to challenge your position in beauty, skill and overall excellence but rather than become rival, you became a poisonous pair. With her accurate and precise calling and your ruthless technique, the pair of you were inseparable. Others grew envious of your success and attempted to cut you down but she always had your back, she was your first trusted individual that you grew to appreciate, she was the only one to ever penetrate the iron walls that shielded your miniscule heart; you were quite the player though, with N at your side and O there too, you would have expected them to quarrel over you but they did not. In truth, they fell for each other, the two girls nurtured a deep relationship that was devoted to keeping you safe; while they were intertwined as a couple, they also admired you as their saviour but you never noticed their budding affection, it was as if you were totally blind-"

"Are you serious? I never realised that they were an item, you would have never expected them to be a pair that acted sane and mutual in front of my clouded eyes; I never knew that they fell for eachother-"

"I do not actually know if N had feelings in return, in all honesty, I have no idea if N had any opinions of O whatsoever. I was pretty sure that O had something for N but it was becoming complicated as alliances were formed with much thorns separating people; N though that it was a joke and dismissed what I had said without second thought which was true. To be honest, I was just playing with you, it seemed like something N would have done so to try and cheer you up from that miserable state you seem to be wallowing yourself in. I guess it failed," She explained as her voice waned as she spoke the last phrase, there was an apologetic sheepish glance plastered over her face as she avoided eye contact, "However, I was joy joking when I said that they were close, you were just blind to see how tight they were with each other, they were far more friendly than you initially thought they were, but everyone was surprised, we only found out once Ob admitted it in a letter once N had departed."

"Oh, I see, this makes sense now, moving along a bit, would you like to tell me about S before we actually reach our destination? I feel as though knowing a little bit of background could be essential in understanding S and handling them well." I replied monotonously.

"Essentially, S was a second attempt to create you with stronger assets but it failed, what God ended up with was a homunculus with passive aggressive tendencies and overly calculated plans which are laced with manipulated and deceit while their appearance was lacking. To be fair though, they are not totally disfigured but they do not really rival the beauty of your youth." She started in a matter-of-fact tone, there was an element of looking down upon my current standing that I defeated but bared with for now, "No-one really knows what gender S is so it is recommended you stick with neutral pronouns to prevent such unwanted offending that could lead to disasters, stick with that info. S generally can be found on a throne inside a den completely made of goose-feather pillows, new springy mattresses, Canadian quilted duvets, fleece baby blankets, a selection of plush-toys of varying sizes and bolsters of fabric rolls used for structural support and physical appearance. S has long hair that would be best not talked about and their face is kept hidden behind a toy soldier helmet over a cape and a bundle of muslin scarfs and shawls for conceal the mouth area, the reasons for this are unknown but it would most likely be better that we did not question it; understand?"