+ -
< Prev Next >
i was so excited to write this chapter i pulled an all-nighter and now here it is. and i have work in three hours and haven't slept yet. so i hope you appreciate the work! and if there's a lot of typos it's because i'm sleep deprived. Happy reading!
40
Something to Hold On To
The bombs are exploding above ground. We're deep underneath. So deep all we feel are rumbles from the blasts. I sit alone in my space, under my safety light, tying my knots. Annie could be like Finnick. She could be tortured for every single clip of me they showed. Katniss has just figured out what I've known all along.
"This is what they're doing to you with Annie, isn't it?" she asks.
"Well, they didn't arrest her because they thought she'd be a wealth of rebel knowledge. They know I'd never have risked telling her anything like that. For her own protection."
"Oh, Finnick. I'm so sorry," she says, taking my hand.
"No, I'm sorry," I tell her. "That I didn't warn you somehow."
"But you did warn me, though. On the hovercraft. Only when you said they'd use Peeta against me, I thought you meant like bait. To lure me into the Capitol somehow."
"I shouldn't have said even that. It was too late for it to be of any help to you. Since I hadn't warned you before the Quarter Quell, I should've shut up about how Snow operates." I tug at the ends of my rope and the slipknot unravels into a straight line. "It's just that I didn't understand when I met you. After your first Games, I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you'd continue in that strategy. But it wasn't until Peeta hit the force field and nearly died that I-"
I hesitate. She seems to remember the incident and looks at me quizzically, the same look I gave her as she sobbed over Peeta's lifeless body. "That you what?"
"That I know I'd misjudged you. That you do love him. I'm not saying in what way. Maybe you don't know yourself. But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him."
I think about the look she gives Gale when they're together. She loves him too, but again I'm not sure how. Well okay, Gale it's clearer. It's all about the passion. They're so alike sometimes it's scary and yet...there's a gentler side to Katniss that Gale lacks. No maybe that's not even it. Katniss has a need for a gentler side. Gale craves a fire to quell his own. I can see it go either way, but it depends on who Katniss decides to be. Enflamed with passion and fire or quenched by light and softened by compassion. We sit in silence, doing and undoing knots. Finally Katniss asks, "How do you bear it?"
I look at her in disbelief. "I don't Katniss! Obviously I don't. I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there's no relief in waking." I see her face start to contort with fear and I decide to hold back. There's no need to present her with a poor fate to resign herself to. "Better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."
Believe me, I know.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"It was hard to see because I was so afraid. Now I'm not. The Capitol's fragile because it depends on the districts for everything. Food, energy, event the peacekeepers that police us. If we declare our freedom, the Capitol collapses. President Snow, thanks to you, I'm officially declaring mine today."
Katniss's monologue about Peeta and the bread and then her declaration of freedom was both touching and inspiring. We have to film a distracting enough propo to divert attention away from the rescue team.
