Ballad of the Desert

Chapter 3: Reunion

I paid money in Dun Huang city to travel with a caravan of merchants going to Chang An. With everything I own in hand, I got on a carriage. Though the only thing worth anything is my Luo Lan outfit. Papa told me a lot about Chang An, and I imagined it often, but I was still stunned by its majesty and grandeur. With tree-lined wide-streets and grand homes, the city was beautiful. I held my bag and wandered the streets, so thrilled that every corner and bridge would get me excited. I finally started to understand Papa's feelings. Seeing such rich surroundings from childhood makes it hard to fall in love with the simplicity of the tents, where everywhere you look there is only sheep or cows.

It was dusk before I realized I needed to find a place to rest. Counting my coins, I had enough for at most ten days at the cheapest inn where I was staying. I missed the days of not needing money in Xi Yu. Laying in the bed in the darkness, I was worried for a bit before laughing. Chang An is such a vast city, with so much to do that can sustain a livelihood. Am I any worse than anyone else? I have hands and feet, would I starve? I decided to stop lamenting the Heavens!

After walking through the city a total of three times, I started to doubt if I could earn a living. Maid or dancing girl, these require selling myself and I refuse to live a life controlled by others. I don't know embroidering or sewing, or any of the female skills. The worst is that I don't have a guarantor. A store almost hired me to do their books but once I couldn't produce a guarantor they didn't want to take the chance on me. I tried looking for Xiao Huo and his people, to be my guarantor. But everyone I asked, no one had heard of such spice merchants. I muttered a curse to Xiao Huo, who clearly lied to me.

A holiday is approaching and the stores are fragrantly decorated. I've used up all my coin and haven't eaten anything since yesterday, with nowhere to go tonight. I grab my things and head out of the city, to a nearby forest to bed down for the night. If I can start a fire, as least I'll be warm. If I'm lucky I can snare a rabbit and get some dinner. Being hungry feels terrible.

When I'm feeling down, I wonder if it was the right decision to come here. Should I sell my Luo Lan outfit and get enough money to return to the Xi Yu? But then I feel like I gave up. Papa wouldn't believe that the daughter he raised like a Han couldn't survive in Chang An. When I reached the forest, I discovered lots of people were thinking the same thing as me, with the ground crowded with beggars. I saw a tree and was about to settle in when a beggar yelled "You damn girl! Do you know any manners? That's your grandpa, my spot."

I glared at him. He didn't pee on the spot like a wolf, so how should I know. It was a mistake only, but I didn't want to make a scene. As I turned to leave, another beggar gave me a dark look, asking me to sing for him and he'll offer me a place to sleep next to him. I turn and am ready to pull out my dagger when suddenly another young beggar arrives bearing a jug of good fragrant wine. All the attention of the beggars turn to him and start drinking, forgetting about me.

An old beggar walks up "Little girl, in this lifetime, there are no pits you can't cross, and nothing you can't endure. They don't mean anything, so just let it go. If you don't mind, want to go warm yourself by the fire with an old beggar like me?" He takes out two buns and starts to warm it by the fire, and hands me a pot of wine to drink. I hesitate, explaining that we are strangers, so why he is so nice to me. That young beggar helping me back there, I was already so grateful.

His eyes twinkle and he explains that even the Emperor needs a Prime Minister to assist, and people endure situations and need help. I thank him and accept the wine and bun. Later than night, the young beggar tells me that if I go knock on doors asking to wash clothing, perhaps I can find work. I have the strength so I decide to try my luck tomorrow. I rush into the city at dawn, in such a hurry that it was late when I realized I left my bag at the beggar camp. But I figured it was safe with the old beggar and his grandson, and I had promised them I would go back tonight. The most important thing is finding a job.