Ballad of the Desert

Chapter 30: Passion Dance

I have no idea how I managed to return home. My entire body feels empty and I'm so exhausted I just want to collapse. When I enter the room I discover that the ceramic appliances have all been swept on the floor. The entire floor is a mess and I sigh with a heavy heart. I turn and rush to the Huo Estate.

Uncle Chen sees me and immediately calls out "The young master rushed home yesterday from the Palace, stopping by Yi Ping Ju to buy a few of your favorite snacks. He was so happy to be able to make it home in time to join you for dinner. He saw you weren't here and I said I had sent someone to pick you up. He wanted to go pick you up personally. He was so excited when he left, but he didn't come home all night. I thought he spent the night at your place. But when he came home this morning at dawn, he didn't drink a sip of water or eat a morsel of food. He locked himself in his room and no one was allowed inside. Before you arrived, he just left the house with the worst expression on his face. I heard from Hong Gu that he didn't eat anything yesterday as well and spent the night waiting for you in your room."

Uncle Chen tried to stay mellow "Ms. Yu, Jiu Ye is indeed a good man, and we indeed owe him greatly....." and his face looked apologetic "But our young master is unwaveringly devoted to you. Because of you, he even turned down the Emperor's marriage decree. Other than the Empress and the General Great Wei, he's upset all the other relatives in the family. I genuinely am sorry to you for what I did and I don't want to say anymore. But.....ay!"

Qu Bing just got better, and despite looking like he's completely recovered, there is no way he can endure this type of self-torture. Because I was so worried, my tone of voice was overly stern with him "Why didn't any of you counsel him?" I said it and immediately realized how silly I was, Qu Bing would never listen to anyone's advice. I apologize to Uncle Chen "I'm sorry for saying that. Do you know where Qu Bing went?" He shook his head "He wouldn't let anyone follow him. He might've gone to see his mother, or maybe to the Princess's estate, or perhaps to General Gong Xun's estate. Or somewhere to drink."

I turn around and head out "I'll go find him." From Princess Pingyang's estate to General Gong Xun's estate to the Chen estate, plus all the dancing houses and drinking halls in Chang An, he's nowhere to be found. When I leave Tian Xiang House, it's already dark of the night. Standing under the lantern outside Tian Xiang House, I stare into the pitch black night. Qu Bing, where are you?

I suddenly have a sliver of hope and wonder if maybe he went home. I hurry back to the Huo Estate but the door guard sees me and shakes his head. "The General has not returned yet. Housekeeper Chen has sent people searching for him but no one can find him." I turn to walk back into the night without saying a word. Suddenly I think of one place he might be. It's just past the 15th of the month and there is a round moon in the sky. It shines a silver light on a mountain full of Lover's Vines.

I follow the side of the Lover's Vines and run around the mountain side. "Qu Bing!" "Qu Bing!".......The sound of my voice reverberates through the canyons, tossing and turning, but it still remains just my voice. From the bottom of the mountain to the top, the entire mountain responds to my calls with only the sound of the wind rustling through the Lover's Vines. Huo Qu Bing, where are you? Huo Qu Bing, are you leaving me?

Since two days ago, my entire being has been strung tighter than a taut string and I've not even rested properly. I can no longer endure the weight of my sorrow and I sink down on the ground in exhaustion. My face contorts into a grimace and I start making this noise that sounds like I'm crying and laughing at the same time.

During this period of time, I was like a soybean between two rock plates. I was about to be crushed into a million tiny pieces under the pressure of their two rocks. Those two rocks are in pain, but did they not know my pain?