Loosing Everything in Six Months

Chapter four: Month three

This month is where, somehow, I destroyed two friend groups. At lunch Taylor was arguing with another girl at the time, her name isn't necessary in the story. They were arguing about me, in front of me.

Taylor was standing up for me when I looked at them and said, "You know, you're talking about me and I'm right here." All of a sudden the girl looks at me and says,"Can you move."
I barely gave her time to finish, "No." My brain took control, I stood up to her. She looked confound, nobody had ever stood up to her before. I was the first to tell her no.

Mistake number two: Never tell the queen bee no, she'll never let you live it down. She will also blow the situation out of proportion. Don't piss off the queen bee.

From that point forward we have sat on the far end of the table. Taylor and  I met a group of new people. Once again, names aren't relevant.

This is the second friendship I've torn apart. Though it was short lived, I had hoped for something more than the outcome. There's nothing I can change now, it's over now.

Adults will always tell you not to grow up too fast and not to worry about adult issues. This month, I got told that a lot. Ever since I can remember I've been worried about money and loosing my house. I worried about everything from going to the store to our power being shut off. This was my whole life until my dad left. My dad and I are in contact again.

The rest of this month was pretty regular, I went to school and my after school activities and I did my homework. I repeated the same things every single day. Upon noticing this, I had become bored of: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to sleep, repeat. Everyday life isn't a routine, its your time line repeating itself. Your life is already all planned out, it seems as if there is somebody at a control board pressing the repeat button after 24 hours. The plans you have made for yourself are plans someone else has already made for you. Think about that, you aren't your own person.

I'm not sharing conspiracies, I'm stating facts. You've never been able to make decisions. This isn't some government plan and this isn't something that is religiously preached; it's just me telling you what I already know. Once you make this realization, breathe. Whether you believe me or not you can't change the truth. You can choose to ignore the fact that your whole life is controlled, or you can embrace it.

You can't change the truth.
You can't change the past
You can't change the future

That's just how it works.