Loosing Everything in Six Months

Chapter ten: month six

Finally the story is coming to an end, but I have one more piece of the story. There is a guy in my life named Luke, Luke and I are like family, supposedly. As I originally stated, he's not family and never will be.

Besides the point, Luke is leaving for the military in ten months. He originally enlisted in the air Force, but was denied because of his criminal record; after the fact, the Army took him. I always knew he was going to leave, I just hoped it wouldn't have been so soon. He was supposed to leave in 18 months but it was inevitably changed to the sooner date.

He is the third male figure in my life to leave. First it was Him, then my dad, now Luke. It's hard watching people you are close with leave. As you might have noticed, leaving is a pattern. It's the easiest was to loose people like that.

Leaving is the easiest way to loose people, sometimes it's not even your fault. They forget you, or they become angry with you, and sometimes they feel it's best. This is the most common way to loose someone but also the most painful. Sometimes it happens over time and sometimes it happens rather abruptly; either way, pain is pain no matter the distribution.

In this month, Red and I had gotten into a rather intense argument. It all started with a post on social media, I was talking about how I was irritated with a friend that was being oddly, lovey per say and I felt like he was doing it on purpose to get at me. This was on an account that was made specially for ranting, Red was not able to see my posts, but my friend was.

My friend decided to send the post caption to her and she brought it up with me. To make a long story short, I felt horrible for posting it. I don't regret posting it but I feel bad for it. It's something that needed to be said, so I did it in a way in which I was comfortable with.

I am not the best talking about my life with Red because I feel as if I make one small wrong move, I'll loose her forever. I would loose the love of my life, I would loose my friend, I would loose my home. If I lost Red, I would have lost everything.

All of this time I've put into her and into myself would just waste away. The six months I have been holding myself together for her, she's the reason I want to live, she's the reason I keep myself going through the day. This was where I thought I lost everything and that the six months I've had to keep everything together was a waste of time. This was it.

I watched everything flash before my eyes like a movie. I saw all of our memories spinning in my head. I couldn't breathe and I lost all my thoughts in a spam of seconds.

Red is my everything.

I lost Red.

I lost everything.

I lost my everything in six months.