Hanahaki

e l e v e n

One month later

×××

"Babe, it's late," Tobi mumbles to Ashton as he sleeps quietly with his head in her lap. As she combs her fingers through his black locks, her mind begins to wander to her disease. Even after falling out of love with Dennis and starting a relationship with Ashton, the Hanahaki disease persisted.

With a sigh, she turns her head to the ceiling of her living room. So far, she'd managed to keep the coughing of petals to a minimum around Ashton, but sometimes it made her feel guilty. Like she was lying. Ashton murmurs something in his sleep and shifts in her lap. She turns her head down and smiles warmly at the sleeping boy.

Tobi bends her head down and kisses his forehead sweetly before mumbling, "Oh, I really do love you. I wish you were the one I'd had Hanahaki for. Then I... we wouldn't be in this situation." A wave of sadness and guilt suddenly overwhelms her, forcing tears to well up on her eyes and spill onto Ashton's sleeping face. "Why am I doing this to you?" She whispers, her face scrunched pitifully.

As her tears continue falling miserably onto his face and sliding over his skin, Ashton's eyes flutter open. Still in a daze, he stares up at her, an empathetic and sleepy smile gracing his lips. He lifts his hand to her cheek and brushes it lovingly. With her face still distressed and eyes full of tears, she stares into his sleepy eyes. "Hey," He whispers.

Her voice, barely a whisper, breaks as she responds, "Hey,"

"You okay?" Ashton mumbles, his eyes calm.

"Yeah, I am." She responds in a whisper, another tear dripping from her eyes and onto his face. "Sorry." She says quietly, trailing her hand through his hair again.

"It's okay." He tells her as if he knows for a fact that everything is, in fact, okay. "You can tell me. That's what boyfriends are for, right?"

She leans down and presses her forehead to his in an effort to calm raging emotions. Instead, this only makes her sob harder. Voice breaking and strained as she attempts to keep it level, Tobi says, "Ash, I'm... I'm so scared, Ashton. It--It's not getting any better like we'd hoped. It's still as bad as it was when we first started dating. It's actually worse." Giving a humorless laugh, she adds, "This isn't going away, and I'm so scared, Ashton."

Ashton shifts to a sitting position next to her on the couch, facing her. As tears continue making their way down her cheeks, he leans forward into her chest, listening to her heartbeat. "I know you are, but it's okay. Right now, you're as alive as me and anyone else, right? You should enjoy it. I know you're scared of dying, and--"

"I'm not scared of that," Tobi mumbles to him, surprising him. "I'm scared of leaving you behind. What you'll go through. How you'll handle it. I'm scared for you, Ash. I love you so much and I'm just... I'm so worried." Her voice breaks again on the last word and Ashton feels her hot tears fall onto his neck and slide down his shirt.

Keeping calm, Ashton lifts his head to look her in the eyes. "You know that I know what the consequences are, Tobi. I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you say."

Tobi finds his hand and entertained their fingers. Staring at their hands, she mumbles, "I know, but that doesn't make me any less worried. I don't want you to be burdened by another death, and--"

With a wry smile, Ashton says quietly, "I could never think of you as a burden, even if you were to die. I love you and that love is no burden, Tobi." He lifts their intertwined hands and kisses her fingertips, his eyes closed as if trying to engrave every detail of this moment into his memory. "I want to stay with you as long as I can, whether that be a few weeks, days, months -- I don't care as long as you're there and as long as you're happy."

A sad smile fills both of their faces and they press their foreheads together. "I'm in love with you." They both mumble to each other. Time is short, and they both know it.

❀❀❀

Naked, Tobi lays on her stomach, covered from the waist down in nothing but her blanket. From next to her, Ashton traces circles on her bare shoulder. "I love you so much." He laughs as she continues to stare fixedly at her headboard.

Her face fills with a smile as she responds, "I love you too, babe." Sighing, she rolls onto her back and lays her head on his bare chest. "Aren't your sisters gonna be worried about you? I mean, you've been used for three days straight, y'know?"

He chuckles and plays with the ends of her short curls. "No, it's okay. They know I'm with you. Just be grateful my parents are out in Japan visiting relatives right now because there would be a lot of questions from them."

With a smile, she nuzzles further into his body, saying, "They're just worried. And that's more than I can say for my mom and dad, so you should be grateful." She adds the last bit teasingly, but Ashton senses the truth behind her words and tone.

"Speaking of your parents, where are yours, babe?" Ashton asks, his eyes wandering to her face.

Tobi shifts slightly, her expression changing a bit. "Well, my mom's in Japan being the cool CEO of a company. She only moved there after the divorce to spite my dad though. I think she said something like, 'I can't even stay in the same country as this pathetic excuse of a man!'" She chuckles slightly but quickly eases back to a more serious tone. "And my dad lives about two hours away. He stays in a hotel most of the time because he manages a few buildings around there." With a sigh, she adds, "I think I last saw my dad on my birthday last year and my mom... Well, I don't think I've really seen her since the divorce."

Without a word in response, Ashton wraps his arm around her torso and rests his chin on her head. "My mom owns this apartment, y'know. I think it's kinda like her way of showing that she still cares about me, but..." She trails off. "But I dunno, really. It's kinda hard to picture these days just because it's been so long. She was really affectionate with my brother and I when we were younger, but I can't remember when she stopped being like that. It just kinda happened, but it was so gradual that I didn't even really notice until after they divorced. And by then she was already overseas."

With closed sues, Ashton hums as of to tell her that he's still tuned into what she's saying. Giving a chuckle, she states, "Dude, you sound so tired right now. You should really call Inna to see if she can pick you up."

With a reading smile, he asks, "But what if I wanna stay here?"

She laughs and rolls off of him and onto her back, saying, "Then I'll still make you go home. You can't spend all your find here, babe. I mean, I love you, but you should hang out with your sisters or something."

Laughing, he folds his hands under his head and comments, "Feels an awful log like someone's trying to get rid of me."

Tobi rolls her eyes and throws his boxers at him. "Yeah, it's 'cause I'm tired of your face." She laughs and adds with a lopsided smile, "I'll see you later, though."

Already pulling on his pants, Ashton laughs and rocks her on the cheek. "Yeah, yeah. I love you, babe."

As he pulls his shirt over his head, she responds, "I love you too."

Once she hears the front door close, Tobi pulls a large box filled with filled envelopes and other miscellaneous objects. She stares at an envelope in her hand, his bane written neatly in her handwriting on it. Pressing a kiss to the sealed envelope, she thinks about the two of them together. Then she thinks about how, very soon, they won't be a they any more. Just a he.