that night, when i finally found the words to slide upon my tongue
and finally let you know how much it hurts when you try to tie me with a man
who is never going to be worth,
why did call the pastor from the church
and
the old man whose son gave up upon himself at the age of eighteen just for holding the hands of another boy in the backyard of their abode?
why did you tell me to join our hands and pray to god for forgiveness for committing this sin?
why did you ask me if i wanted to change myself by shredding away this rustic skin with demonic feelings and stepping into a blanket with god's blessings?
why didn't you say that you still loved me the same?
why didn't you hold my hands and told me it was okay to feel this way?
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conversion therapy. isn't what they call it?
where they try to fix something that was never broken.
where they try to sew us in way we were never torn in.
"if you don't change yourself, god would never love you."
"if you don't abide by his laws, he will never forgive you."
that's what was stuffed in our blooming minds and left no place for flowers of self realization to fit in.
tell me dad,
which page of which holy book says,
that if a woman lie with a woman and if a man lie with a man,
destruct there minds with terrors so they can never love again.
drown them in the bathtub to wash away their wrongs they can never escape.
strike them with the bible to prey away the demon hidden within.
but dad,
those terrors would haunt us to the very end even if we lie with an opposite sex;
the bathtub would still crawl our skin till the tears fill it with memories of past we never wanted to live in;
the demon was never inside us but striking with the only book we believed.
he is she. she is he. they are us. we are them.
why does it matter anyway?
aren't we all god's creation above everything?
aren't we first humans and then some petty labels stuck on us by this hellhole called society feeding on our feelings?
aren't am i your daughter before your favorite sin?
so tell me dad,
would you still want me to walk away even when the almighty wanted me to stay ?
yours sincerely,
the sinner daughter , you never wanted to look at again.
