Penny Black

Chapter 4

Penny's daydream of ribbons and stars was interrupted as Mum called to her to come downstairs.

'Tea is done,' she said as she launched a plate at Penny. Tea time was torture these days. Whatever Penny ate, it tasted of nothing. There were days when she couldn't eat. Those Tummy Turns were in constant motion with nothing to quell them; there was nothing and no-one that could take them away.

Tonight felt a little bit different. Her tummy was turning but she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. The fizz of bubbly excitement was brewing somewhere deep down as she thought of the ribbon and the paperweight upstairs, both of them waiting for her when she had finished her tea and chores.

The next thing on Penny's mind was her homework. It was English and she found that easy so she decided she would show Mum that she was serious about getting down to it. That way she would be left alone, without a nagging to get it done. She would use this time to hide the excitement bristling inside her. She didn't understand it because she hadn't been able to look at that paperweight since the night that Daddy showed it to her and then left her forever. It was a terrible reminder of how good things were before they got really bad. It was the last special moment they shared and it was a gatekeeper to her memories of better times. Somehow though, the mystery of the ribbon ignited a fire of curiosity in her that even the most miserable of evenings could not put out. Whoever left this ribbon must surely know about the paperweight and what it meant to her. It had arrived at a time when she was feeling particularly awful and now she could not forget the spark of light that she had dreamt that first night, when she dropped off counting the stars. The ribbon had seemed just as bright and she knew she had to put them together, to make sense of it all. Or maybe it was a cruel joke. Penny wracked her brain for a memory of a time she might have told someone about the paperweight. That was more like it. She felt a Tummy Turn flip and land like a stone in the pit of her stomach and darkness rose in her mind to cloud out the rare shaft of light that the ribbon had brought. She was stupid as ever. What was she thinking? What exactly was this idiotic excitement that had gripped her? Was she expecting a magic spell to present itself as the ribbon wrapped itself around the paperweight. Would it open a doorway to another universe that would fill her once more with warmth and love? She realised suddenly that she was hoping for all of that. She was believing the magic of childhood was true and that it would save her. No chance.

With a heavy heart Penny set about her homework on the computer while Mum didn't stop in the kitchen. Draws banging, pots clashing with plates as they fought for room in the dishwasher and the whole time it was 'homework this' and 'bath time' that from Mum. A constant stream of instructions without any interest in how hard Penny found it, to do any of those things anymore.

Before starting high school Penny had worried about the homework, not to mention the fear of meeting new people which filled her with dread. As it was, she could handle the work and she had found a friend. Amber Fox wasn't like the other girls. She seemed to be above it all without being awful about it. She would almost float amongst the crowds, not in the least bit bothered by the Sunshine Girls that had followed Penny from primary school. Amber seemed to despise the Sunshine Girls enough to avoid them but Penny never once saw her fall out with anyone. She was a fellow loner but Penny wished she could be that strong. They had met in the dinner queue at school, when Penny had skulked at the back only to find herself moved further up when the crowd was scattered. They were making way for the caretaker with tables and chairs for the new term. She remembered the moment vividly; the furniture was being brought in from the big shed in the yard so the door to the hall was wide open. The caretaker hadn't seen it until it was too late; an enormous blackbird swooped and dived, ca-cawing as it went and leaving a solitary black feather that fell at Penny's feet. And then the bird was gone, as quickly as it had appeared. The girls around her screamed but she was frozen, speechless as the feather lifted and blew silently upwards and towards Amber, landing softly on her shoulder as Amber flashed a quiet smile that said, 'I understand'.

Penny wondered whether she should text Amber now, to tell her about the ribbon. Amber would know what to do and it would probably involve coming over to have a look. Penny wasn't prepared for that tonight. It would mean practically begging Mum to let her spend time with a friend when she hadn't even had her bath. She decided it was best to toe the line and get to bed. It was PE tomorrow. She still hated it but she had learned that the sooner she got to sleep, the sooner the next day would be here and the sooner it would be over. Every day could be dispensed with this way.

Fresh from her bath, she called to Mum that she was heading to bed and, apart from instructions to brush her teeth, there wasn't another word from downstairs. That suited her just fine.

As she got into her pyjamas, Penny spotted the white ribbon on the floor where it had fallen in the excitement earlier, before tea. It didn't seem quite as bright as it had before and Penny felt equally deflated for being so stupid to think it was anything special. She picked up the cardboard box with the paperweight in it, deciding that the ribbon could quite happily disappear into the box and both would be placed under the bed forever. The room was dark now, except for the reading light on Penny's bedside table where she placed the box. She climbed into bed as she looked wistfully at the place where Daddy used to sit and pulled the duvet up close to her chest. She sat up to pack away the paperweight and ribbon. As she held the box, it began to shake. Yes, she was feeling tired and upset but she wasn't sure she was that shaky. She let go and held her hands out to assess their steadiness. They were fine. She gave them a shake and grasped the box once more in one hand, a bit tighter this time to steady herself, the ribbon in the other hand ready to be put away. Before she could move another finger the box lid sprung open, the paperweight glowed and from it there shot a beam of light right from its heart. As Penny reeled backwards, dropping the paperweight into her lap she took in a sharp breath of fear and surprise. The beam split and each part spread, one to the left of her and one to the right until each beam of light had unfurled like a new leaf of Spring and formed a sphere around her. Her first instinct was to scream but as she took a deep breath to do so, her lungs filled with the warmth of a thousand childhood memories and the Tummy Turns evaporated into a million fragments until they were the sun-bleached sand lapping at the edge of a calm sea. And in her hand the ribbon fluttered in a sudden cool breeze as these three words appeared upon it : 'We need you'.