Penny Black

Chapter 6

Everything looked the same but everything felt different.

As Penny opened the garden gate, as she had done a hundred times before, it was not the same gate it had been yesterday morning. It was the bringer of the ribbon. As she headed for the school bus the warm, early Autumn breeze lifted her hair, as it did every time she turned the corner at the end of her road. But today it brought a chill to her neck as she recalled last night's light travelling towards her. She had not forgotten its warmth but now, in the cold light of day, it scared her a little that she had been so willing to give up on Bentley, on Ella and even on her Mum who needed her to 'do her bit'.

As Penny jostled in the queue to board the school bus, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She couldn't mistake that hand and she turned to pull her usual wacky face at Ella that only they understood. It was such a part of their friendship neither could remember who started it, or why, but there it was and it made Penny feel safe. It was familiar and after last night's adventure she reveled in its simplicity. She didn't want to think about Dark Thoughts, whatever that meant. For now, as they took their seats, she decided she would make plans with Ella for the weekend.

"What's up, Peanut?" This was Ella's nickname for Penny. PB was peanut butter. That had been shortened to Peanut. In that moment, Penny couldn't remember why there was no alter-ego for Ella. She strained to think of something appropriate. Ella Fox... EF. E....? Fox Trot... Trotter? Ella liked horses.

"Helloooo," Ella's voice filtered into Penny's daydream.

"Sorry, I'm tired."

"Yeah, me too," declared Ella. "Last night was exhaaaausting."

"Last night?"

Ella gave Penny a sideways glance and quickly turned to the window as she nudged Penny to look out, toward the group of Sunshine Girls waiting to board the bus.

"How do they get their pony tails so high?" mused Ella, as she swept the unusually long fringe of her pixie cut to one side, still keeping her eyes fixed on the window and clear of Penny's silent demand for more information. Penny was pretty much convinced that Ella wasn't even looking at the Sunshine Girls because her eyes were glazed over at some memory that had obviously filtered through. She could see Ella's mouth was shut tight, to hold the telling of those memories at bay. In that moment Penny too realised that her mouth was less than relaxed and, as curious as she was, she decided to leave Ella alone, however unsettled that made her feel. She didn't like it, that Ella was keeping something from her. It was then she realised why there was no nick-name for Ella. Penny had shared more of herself than Ella had ever shared with her. But now, she too was keeping something to herself far greater than anyone could imagine.

                                                                                       ***************

It was lunch time before Penny could shake the morning's unsettling sense of doubt. She shuffled to the dinner hall, to find Ella and join the queue. It was just her luck that Ella was late and that she had to join the queue with Melody. This would have been time for the Tummy Turns but lately they had turned into a huge knot, right in the centre of her stomach and it tightened each time she froze with fear at the enormity of everything without Daddy.

Melody didn't have to say anything to hurt Penny; to make her heart sink and her mind shrink into a black hole. Just one look, up and down, was all it took to convey exactly what Melody thought of Penny's uncontrollable curls and the school blouse that strained across her broad frame, a frame too big to be carried by her lack of height. As Penny felt the glare scan her from top to toe, she folded her arms to cover her chest and cross her legs to hide the sole that had separated from the shoe that was too tight. Everything felt wrong and in that moment she wanted to step out of her skin. She'd preferred the days when she arrived with a pack lunch at school so she could hide and eat where she wanted but Mum had said they couldn't pass up a free meal. She felt a pang of regret, that she had hated her Mum for sending her into this firepit of shame every single day. She wanted to go home now, get away from Melody and the spite she spewed. She wanted to go home and say sorry to her Mum, to make everything right and to feel safe. She wanted to tell Melody to disappear into her own black hole of nasty thoughts. She felt the warmth of the last night's light rise within.

"Ha," Melody chimed as Penny lowered her gaze to the floor. "Loser, you should...".

There was a sudden scream . Everyone turned and strained to see the commotion at the rear of the canteen. As Penny raised her head, the knot in her stomach began to fray, ignited by the light within her. She turned towards the door to the yard, from where the scream had travelled. The light within her continue to rise and fill her chest with its warmth. If she was such a loser, then what about the message, 'We Need You'? Despite the fear at what she saw, the fire within grew stronger. What had happened to Ella, that she was now stood at the rear of the canteen, face bloodied by the claws of the dead crow that lay at her feet?