Reflections

Chapter 6

Hello, my name is Claire Jones. I am 23 years old and fresh out of community college. I had always loved watching movies when I was a little girl. Classics, action films, rom-coms, horrors flicks, you name it. I consumed movies faster than a starving dog scarfed down dog chow. Movies were my food, my medicine. They were the things that kept me going after so many years, the things that let me immerse myself into many different worlds. They were there to let me forget about the craziness of life at home and the dullness of school.

Of course when I look back on my feelings about movies, it seems kind of stupid, in a way. I mean, I sound completely addicted. And to be fair, I was. I always found time to watch a movie, planned my schedule around trying to watch as many movies as possible, etc. It was an unhealthy obsession, especially since I could've been using my time to read books or do my homework.

However despite that, I don't regret my actions at all. In fact, I'm glad that I was so addicted to movies. I don't think I would've ever gotten into acting if I didn't.

Actually it's a little weird to admit this, but I've always liked to pretend to be other people. Not in a bad way of course! You know, in the little kid sort of way. I bet you remember times where you dressed up as your favorite character and tried to emulate them. So it's a perfectly normal thing, of course. But I guess the embarrassing thing about it is that I almost always pretended to be someone else.

You see, I've seen myself as a boring person. And you know, it is true. I look completely average, sound completely average, and only follow the current trends and styles. I don't really have an unique hobbies or skills. I'm just the plain Jane, the boring next door. So it makes complete and total sense for me to want to pretend to be someone else, right?

When I was a little girl I'd go all out. I'd change my name and act completely different than my "normal" and "boring" self. Adults would be charmed by it at first, but quickly succumbed to worry and annoyance when I didn't give up the act.

Then sometimes I would act more subtle about it. I'd keep my name but incorporate a fictional person's quirks and personality. I outgrew my more "overt" phase when it came to copying characters from movies, and I grew into someone who kept it more to themselves.

But of course, it's not like I'm really that way anymore. It'd be so embarrassing if I was. But even if I was, I'm sure you wouldn't mind, right?

...Never mind. Sorry for getting off track. I guess I'm just feeling a little conflicted is all.

I mean, I really am boring, huh?

Actually, I probably need to stop worrying about stuff like this. I already have too much on my plate to get upset at myself for something that isn't even true. I'm boring and that's okay. I don't need to change myself to be interesting. I'm fine the way I am.

Anyways, I really hope that I get to be the role of Robin. I practiced hard for her part and I hope my hard work pays off in the end. I mean, she seems so cool. So if by some miracle my audition is approved, then I'll portray her the best I possibly can!

I'm sorry I didn't add more about my family life and school life. I'm kind of pressed for time. Maybe we could meet up later and I could tell you the details? Though if I had to be 100% honest, I don't think that would be worth your time.