Finding Inner Beauty

How did I get here?

When I finally picked myself up from the ground
I stood up and took a good look around
I never even noticed when all my friends left
I could not even focus on what was remaining in me, I was bereft

There were many things said about me that I couldn't just forget
That I was too dark of a complexion to shine like all the rest
I was too fat to be a model and to mean to keep a man
I was too ugly to be in pictures and too weak to lend a hand

I was told that I was dumb for trusting way too much
I was told that the way I dressed was to sell my body to make men lust
I was told that my words were too sharp to make others care for me
I was told that I was not needed, so I should probably just flee

I was battered and bruised from the lies that were told
That defeated my purpose and crushed my soul
I was torn and disgusted with the people who put me down
I was glad that they were gone, I was glad they weren't around

Someone else told me that I am great with words
Someone else told me that my singing is as peaceful as birds
Someone else told me that people who can't hang are simply just tikes
Someone else told me to keep handing out smiles like people hand out Instagram likes
Someone else told me that they wished they were my complexion
Someone else told me that everyone begs for my attention

Surely that was enough for me to get my head back where it belongs
Surely that was enough for me to know the others were all wrong
Surely there is no way that their words could be true
Surely there is nothing wrong with me, so it must be with you

But were they really gone?

Did they really all leave?
Or was there yet another one pulling on my sleeve?
Putting me down and making me feel weak?
Criticizing me and causing me to be meek?

I felt like there was still a Snake in my mist
I wish that I could let it go; ignorance is bliss
I couldn't put a finger on the person who was around
but one thing was for sure, it was time for them to leave town

I waited

I waited and waited and waited some more
I started to look like a poor orphan waiting by the door
I was waiting to find out when the Snake would stop speaking the lies
And finally I came face to face with her, I was ready to look her in the eyes

I heard a knock at the door

I planned to stare into her soul because I wanted her to see
That there was nothing she can do to intimidate me
But the craziest thing happened when I answered the door
It was a familiar face, someone I have seen before

She had beautiful dark skin and deep brown eyes
She had big natural hair and to my surprise

It was me.

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A self check on how I was putting myself down more then anyone else I know. I think in a culture that focuses a lot of negative self talk, we get lost in putting ourselves down and putting negative thoughts in our own heads. We focus a lot on self-deprication to be funny or famous and claim it's for us to seem relatable to others. The first thing I had modify was the way I viewed myself in order to develop into someone who actually valued myself.