Avengers Oneshots

empty(peter Parker angst)

3rd person

 Peter woke up in his bed, sobbing and covered in cold sweat.

"Mr. Stark..." Peter quietly into his tear drenched pillow.

Five years ago, they won. But it was at the cost of Tony Stark.

The Tony Stark that people took for granted.

The Tony Stark that people labelled heartless, narcissistic, selfish.

The Tony Stark that treated Peter with the same love as he did Morgan.

The Tony Stark the world didn’t bloody deserve but needed.

The same damn Tony that was the most selfless, the kindest and the saddest man Peter has ever met.

Even after five years Peter still wasn’t over how his father figure died right in front of him. Gone before he even had time to process things. Peter wanted to scream, he wanted so badly to be enveloped by Tony's arm. How badly he wanted to hear Tony's calming voice reassuring him that everything was fine. He wanted to hear Tony yelling at him about safety and protocol again, about how he shouldn’t just pull off his mask in public. He wanted Tony back, even if it was just to say goodbye.

Their first hug was nice. It felt warm,  safe and comforting.

But it was also their last hug, which made things hurt even more.

He reminded himself almost everyday that he needed to move on.  But as time passes by, his heart just continued to grow emptier and emptier. There was no moving on, Peter truly believed there was no moving on.

There's not a day where Peter's heart doesn't continue to shatter. Everywhere he goes, he sees him.

Peter wiped off his tears robotically onto the pajamas he was wearing  as if it was something he'd done many times.

He sluggishly got dressed and stared into the mirror. All he could see was a ghost of himself with lifeless eyes so red and puffy it was a wonder he could see and a sunken face. Peter slipped on a practiced smile and trudged towards the front door. Aunt May wasn't home again. Oh well, he didn’t feel like speaking or eating. Anyways, it's not uncommon for her to forget to cook breakfast for him before heading to god knows where. After all, she's getting older.

Peter numbly headed to school. Other than keeping a distance from everyone, Peter had acted the same as always, that happy go lucky type with almost no fear.  He managed to deceive even his closest friends and Aunt May. It’s been five years. He should've gotten over it, right?

He should be happy!

But he wasn’t. It was as if a part of him was missing or had died along with Tony Stark .

“Mr Stark, I hope you’re watching over everyone from up there, it's been five years since you and Ms Romanoff passed. I'm doing my best to act okay but I don't think I can anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much, and it only gets worse. Why does it hurt so much? Why does my heart feel so empty? I haven't interacted with anyone aside from people in school and people that visit Aunt May. I’m scared, Mr Stark. I’m scared I’ll break and they’d know that I'm not okay. I wish that I’d have the courage to see Morgan and everyone else again. Perhaps one day, not too soon but one day. “ Read one of Peter’s many diary entries, a coping mechanism that did almost nothing in helping him cope with the loss of Tony Stark .

A part of him secretly wished that someone would notice his pain and the scars that littered his body; most self inflicted, but some, not so much. even if someone did notice , they probably wouldn't care anyways. After all, how he feels and his well-being doesn't concern anyone. Flash made that rather clear. Peter secretly agreed since everything seemed to just prove Flash’s point.

Peter sat through the usual torture that disguised itself as a safe space for learning when in reality, it was just another game for the weak to be tormented. Peter used to stop physical bullying that happened in plain sight but after Mr Stark's passing, his protection ceased. Peter realised that protecting the weak was useless, how can someone who as weak as Peter protect? A wise man once said “ Never get too cocky , it is only a matter of time before someone notices your pain and exploits it while in your weakened state like vultures, preying on those who are half dead or already dead.” Somehow, Peter believed the words of the wise man because of one reason, that reason being that he has seen it so often, people getting too comfortable and letting their guard down only to be viciously attacked by said vultures.

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Ending it off here. Should I make a part two??

Constructive criticism is encouraged!