a thousand instincts (#1)

A Monster (22)

Warning: this chapter and the ones after-the rest-will be very MATURE and what I like to call SPICY. This is your chance now to turn back, but I will remind you that I am not a fan of spoilers so this is basically one of the rare cautions I will provide (sexual content mainly, including sexual violence).

Also, I'm guessing if you've come this far, you don't mind the spicier sides of stories...

You've been warned...

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Aeress

     "Something was different today," Aeress told Warrick as he slowly made his way through a crisply-cooked chicken breast. "It was like I knew their true intentions. Their smiles didn't fool me..." she picked at her own food. "I liked that I knew, that I had something over them." 

     He looked up at her as he leaned against the island which she sat upon. She crossed her legs, wishing the space between his forearm and her leg would close. His copper hair was glossy, neat as always. She found herself admiring him no matter what he did. "Explain." 

     Aeress shrugged, popping a grape in her mouth. "I felt different the moment I entered the room, more confident, more everything. It felt like I was looking for a fight. I had to get out of there before I did or said something even more stupid than I already had." 

     He straightened his stance and placed a heavy hand on her knee. "You did well. Not many would dare stand up against the Guides." 

     "Except for you."

     He nodded. "Except for me." 

     "I don't know, Warrick. It didn't feel like me." Aeress put her hand on top of his. She felt his warmth bring life to her nerves, sending them into a frenzy. "I think... I think it was her, taking over." 

      His grip tightened. "But she didn't, did she?" 

     Aeress shook her head. "No, at least not all the way. And I think that's the worst part, not knowing where my will starts and her will ends."

     "Were you afraid?" She looked away from his beautiful blue eyes. How cold she believed them to be, but maybe not so much anymore. 

      "She's killed so many people in such a short amount of time, but I can't lie to you... In that moment, when I stood there in front of them, I only felt pride, confidence... I felt invincible. But... I don't know if I can allow that and still be me." 

     His hand slid onto her jaw and lead her gaze back to his. She looked up at his ocean eyes and became lost in him. What a harsh beauty he was. "You cannot deny this soul. You deny yourself in doing so." He shook his head in disbelief. "It is no wonder she becomes crazed every time you release her. You keep her in a cage." 

    Aeress frowned and wished the answers were that simple. "It's not as easy as that. I know she will hurt more, and I don't know how much more blood on my hands I can live with." 

     A look of sympathy crossed his stern features. It was a rare sight, and they both knew it. "I know, but it will become less difficult if you just accept her, and stop... regarding her as a monster." 

     Aeress leaned into his warm hand. "What if... What if I lose myself in her? What if I change?" 

     He dropped his hand and placed it on her chest. "Change is something you can never avoid. It's how you decide to change which counts most."