Untitled No.1

This Way

   "You alienated yourself from everyone you loved. And now? You're all alone." I stared blankly out the window. "Are you happy now?" I watched the neighborhood children play, the elderly woman tend to her garden, all of them blissfully unaware of my depressed stare. I glance at the front door "No one's coming. You're alone. " I trained my gaze to the floor, too ashamed of my situation. "Are you satisfied?" A tear slid down my cheek, the voice turned angry for a second "No, you don't get to cry. You brought this upon yourself." My hands shook as I held the picture of my father, my mother and I. I was around six at the time, my two front teeth were missing in my bright smile. A loud snicker echoed in my head, it was so loud I thought it came from within my apartment. "They wasted so much time on you."

   Another tear had escaped and landed on the glass. The snicker turned into full blown laughter, mocking my vulnerability. I launched the frame at the wall and watched the glass shatter. My heart is like the glass, broken. I grabbed my keys and ran out. "They wasted so much time on you."

   My feet carried me to my favorite bar; Loose Cannons. I stormed straight to the bar, plopped into a stool and ordered a round of Kamikazes. The bartender gave me a sympathetic look as he place the shot glasses in front of me. He saw me almost everyday, this was the one place I could try to drown out the little voice in my head. I quickly downed the first, "Pathetic" the second "Look at you. Trying to drown your sorrows in cheap liquor. Trying to drown me out." I bring the third up to my lips, waiting anxiously for the voice to continue taunting me. Silence. Well, at least for now.

   "There's no hope left for you." It's back. It never goes away. "Aw, did you miss me?" I clench my jaw, nothing good will come out of responding to myself. A pair of eyes seemed to bore into the side of my head. I glance to my left, soft brown eyes locked with mine. A cruel giggle made me bite my tongue. "Her? She can't save you. No one can." I turned back to my remaining shots, feeling the liquid hit my throat leaving a burning sensation in its wake. I buried my face in my hands. I know. I'm doomed to stay this way.