Songs Of Eternity

anxiety

anxiety is like a thief in the night
it hides away and then it strikes
forcing you into the darkness
you try so hard to avoid

anxiety is the culprit behind your uncontrollable sobbing and the inability to catch your breath

anxiety causes you to pull at your hair to bite down as hard as you can on your thumb anything to numb your pain but nothing is enough

anxiety can manifest itself as nausea
and a throbbing headache
an hour later you can breathe again
until the next attack from anxiety
which is hiding around the next corner, preying on your weary soul

anxiety causes you to doubt everything and everyone 
you have ever known and trusted
unable to reach out to a friend to alert them - they just won't understand

anxiety robs you of the day's delight
leaving you in despair and fright
every memory of the day distorted
and corrupted
you'd rather fight lord voldemort
than be used as anxiety's escort

anxiety urges you to take that extra dosage of anxiety meds
this is the sort of anxiety where even medication cannot help
this anxiety leaves you yearning for a blade again even though you stopped

anxiety leaves you hating yourself
hating everything you love
anxiety drains you to the bone
physically, emotionally and mentally
anxiety is having an internal battle
without any weapons

real anxiety is ugly, brutal, terrifying
nothing like the romanticised crap
real anxiety has you screaming into your pillow without any sound escaping, simultaneously choking on your stream of tears

but the absolute worst part of anxiety
is the feeling of abandonment
having a list of loving friends
and yet too afraid to reach out to them

then the what if's start:
what if they hear it and think you're overreacting?
what if they want to call you?
what if they don't care at all?
what if they are too busy?
what if you sound pathetic?
what if they don't believe you?
what if he won't like me?
what if they tell everyone?