Flames And Blades

Chapter Four: It's Gonna Be Me

 I wake up to that bloody alarm sound, the one that sounds like screeching from the underworld has come to get you, because apparently that all I am able to set up on my phone. Ugh. mornings suck. Sighing a little heavily, for drama's sake, I roll out of bed and attempt to get ready for the day. My old bed creeks alongside with me, as if it too is annoyed at being up at this hour. The dark stained wood beneath my feet, however, stays quiet as if nothing in the house is even moving, not even the dust mites left all along with the house from neglection.

I've long gone attempting to get my parents' attention to get them up too, as all they've ever done since I was fourteen and my brother got kidnapped was ignore me. In all fairness, I can't blame them, they lost their only son just before he started high school. However, they seem to still be in too much shock to acknowledge the fact that I lost him too. The two of them haven't even considered that maybe I blame myself for it all too. If it hadn't been for my pure idiocy, he would have still come home, he would still be here, and he would still be safe. He was my twin, and now he's gone, none of us can even get closer to knowing if he's dead. Our small town police officers all denied leaving the case about four months after it was obvious their trail went cold. And when I went searching, the day after that, I got drugged by the Lux gang and told that my brother was safe with them; but never returning. I stopped searching when I realized I had lost not only Ferox but the recollection of what happened for that entire day- what happened with who, as well. Not even the people outside of my town were willing to help, I had worked my summers away to come up with a means to higher a few private detectives and all of them said that even they weren't stupid enough to cross the gang wars of my town.

Shaking my head of all thoughts, in need of coffee to provide any motor function at all, I start pulling on my brand new jeans, only to realize that they are far too short for me already. For some reason, I still get growth spurts at seventeen and long after reaching 'tall' for my height. Great. Taking them off and pulling on my tried and true riding jeans that always just cover my ankles. The ones that always end up crumpled on the floor because I couldn't be bothered to fold them when I'm just going to throw them on not long after. This is then followed by me slipping on a plain tee to match the outfit, and opting for sneakers instead of boots to fit the summer-autumn transition that only my town, Carpe Noctem, Nocty, in short term used only to piss off the council, always gets. I only think to look at the tv after being halfway through my makeup and hair situation. By then it's already ten minutes to first period, and only half my hair is even brushed. I sigh to myself at this and continue on with whatever I think might help tame my hair.

Yet another reason for Mr. Christopher to 'strongly dislike' me. Always late and more or less severely dishevelled running in. Since I'm already late and hated, I decide to take my time getting ready, enjoying watching some cheesy daytime soap and fixing up any imperfections I so chose. Science isn't my favourite subject, but I'm getting a decent enough grade. One that is decent enough for me to skip today's class and still have an average high enough to get into a small town university and get stuck with some mediocre job I'm destined to. Not being able to find and stick to a specific passion gets really sucky when you're going from teen to adult in less than a year.

Today's program was this cheesy knock of soap that usually plays while I'm gone off to school. My rating of it about halfway through became a negative star, so I lean over the counter to change the channel via remote. Stupidly forgetting the red hot flat iron between the remote and I, and instead of leaning on it straight on. Normally, my stupidity would have pissed me off beyond proportions. But today was another story, I was too focused on what was going on around the iron. More specifically, what wasn't. The colours. Has in the blue of my hacked on nail polish, the hughes of my makeup, the detailing in the carpets. The colours. All of them. All gone, nothing but greyish black hughes, as if I'm in a twenties film. All of them had faded out to dullness, yet, given a closer look, something was there. A purple cloud of sorts filled spaces around me. The spaces no one really looks in, corners and unwanted areas. A heaviness came with it too, every time I tried to search for a description of it, all that I came up with was death. A black-grey cloud that filled in any gaps the purple hadn't and only enhanced that god awful weight and feeling. The cloud itself scared the shit out of me, but there was something more. The shade of it was familiar at first. And when it hit me, I knew I was going crazy. This cloud was The exact shade of my brothers' eyes. The creepy as hell purple eyes he had, so deep and rich you can't be scared when you're too busy staring into them. Like inky swirls and clouds there to taunt me of the things I never wanted to see.

Ferox and I had been born with these really strange eyes and a few off-putting talents. Ferox got the babified looks that ensured him to be undeniably handsome, even as a little boy. Tall, the quick ability to gain muscle and stay toned. Gorgeous facial features, enhanced with an olive skin tone and shiny black hair that forever flopped in front of his eyes. Most importantly, his eyes, deep, rich violet and a look that told you he knew everything you were hiding. Everything that you were. I used to think he was my fairy tale twin because all he was was something that could only be magically explained. He was like a demonic, angel prince.

I was another story. Both Ferox and I were the same height, I imagine we still are. And that's basically where our symmetries hault. Where he was tan muscular and balanced, I was pale, petite and lanky. With really dull brown hair that I hate with all my heart, as it only behaves in one cut; long. Mid back is the only length I could keep it tame and manageable. Meaning while I might look a bit like Rapunzel, I wished like hell for my own Eugine to chop it all off without a problem. Along with this, my eyes are red. Like flames forever dancing in blood. They look scary as hell and sent most people running until they knew they were stuck with me in this town. The only thing the colour did to me was give me anger problems; although I can't prove it, so it just sits on the back of my mind and drives me insane. I hated them so much that I started wearing contacts and sunglasses whenever and wherever possible- still do, not caring about the irritation the two give me. Where he was kind but tough, I had anger issues and felt everything too much. Where Ferox didn't fear anything, I feared everything. More importantly, my eyes. However, what Ferox had in strength, I had in speed, ironic since I was always late to just about every event there was. And where he had the ability to balance and stay collected in every situation, I had the ability to fall on flat surfaces and forget the English language mid-conversation.

By the time I stopped staring at the purple cloud, science was already more than halfway over. My boyfriend, Trevor's third call was what not only brought me out of my haze but made the cloud disappear and the colours reappear. Figuring I was just sleep deprived, I told myself I was only in need of the coffee I forgot to brew, and maybe a bite of food, texted him letting him know I'd be there for second period, and left the house.

I had never thought to check if the haze of sorts had actually done anything that lasted. I only recall a strange need to remember a few scratches and lines. But they blurred away to nothing, just like the thought of what this morning had meant, or what it will mean.

_______________________________

By the time I get into my parking spot, he's there, waiting. Forever the gentlemen, always wanting to make sure I'm safe and happy. I hop out to him, grinning from ear to hear, Trevor never realizing that those little things gave me the biggest feeling of warmth. So I hand him his coffee and drink some of mine, walking in silence to class. That was one of my favourite things about us, once sandbox buddies turned high school sweethearts (ish), we had come to know each other so well, that we could walk hand in hand, and tell each other everything, without even saying a word. So I walk on, with him close to me, enjoying how fairy tale like some things in life can be. Fully recovered from my brief view of sleep-deprived hallucinations. The day had taken a brighter turn that meant I had a solid chance at control once again when Trevor walks up the flight of stairs to my locker, then goes to his second-period class, leaving me alone with the people I know will completely ignore my existence like any other class on any other day.

Until the turn swerved dead on into literal darkness.

Leaving me with nowhere to go or do, just barely letting me grab whatever was going on by the heels and hold on for dear life; if I ever actually get one.

Because the hallucinations came back clearer now, and its ink clouds became so heavy that I couldn't see anything but them. I was blinded by it all, enough so that when I walked down the hall, I couldn't see the stairs and collapsed, rolling and stumbling over the entire student filled staircase.

By the time I hit the bottom, I was very aware of everyone laughing at me down the hallways, I was also aware of the bruise that would soon appear on my forehead, because of the pure luck of my skull deciding to pound itself on the bannister.

I hurriedly decide to collect myself, refuse to let the tear from sharp pain exit my eye, regardless of how blurry this makes my now only half blinded sight, and continue on down as if nothing happened. The laughter echoing down the halls being the least of my problems now.