Suicide - soukoku

04

Short chapter sowwy

Dazai:

I sat in the warm bath water, t dragged the blade across different parts of my body. Most of my inner thigh was marked up and down, the water was still warm, slightly red. I sighed, the water swished as i moved in the water. I was overthinking the situation, if chuuya didn't want me to die then why is he with me? Sometimes i felt as if chuuya didn't really care about me, i felt that he should just let me die peacefully. I lowered myself more into the water and continued to drag the blade across my skin. The door opened and a gust of cold air flew in. chuuya comes up to the bathtub, his hat off his coat and vest gone, it was just chuuya in pants and his white collared shirt, and his choker of course. He looked down at the bloody water and the looked down to my arm cutting at my thigh. He put his hand in the water and softly took the razor away then proceeded to pocket it " what is it chuuya-san " i said coldly. He sighed " why do you- " " don't ask stupid questions you clearly already know the answer to, chuuya " i interrupted. He threw the blade on the floor and came in the bath, fully clothed " dazai-san " he said leaning into a kiss, his breath smelled of wine we were too young to drink, i pulled him into a tongue filled kiss, he moaned into it refusing to let go. I pushed him back out of breath, he was drunk. " fuck me dazai, do it now " he said moving to the other side of the bathtub, proceeding to spread his legs, i sighed " chuuya your-" he pulled me into another tongue filled kiss, this brat i swear., i got up and wrapped a towel around my waist.and then pulling chuuya out the bath and wrapping him in a towel ignoring the 'fuck me' coming from him. I took off of his clothes and sat him on the bed, i laid him down and put clean undergarments on him then wrapped him in the blanket. I walked back into the bathroom, still wearing a towel, ignoring the constant 'dazai 'coming from outside the bathroom. I sat at the stool placed in front of the mirror, i took out the bin of bandages from underneath the sink. I began to wrap myself in bandages. I yawned, i ignored the rest of the world, my thoughts drifted to oda, i haven't gone down to see him in a while, i wonder how's the cat doing. I thought since chuuya might be asleep i could go to the bar and meet with them. I quickly got dressed, i stepped out the bathroom, reached in the closet for my coat. I grabbed what I needed and walked to the door, the naked chuuya had his tiny hand grasped on a part of my coat. " where are you going? Why are you leaving me?" He asked, his voice raspy " the bar, Oda has something to discuss and Ango has something to give me " I said, he looked down and released his hand " oh, have fun" he said putting his arm back in the blankets. I looked back and walked out the room.

Chuuya:

The door clicked, he was cold, the way he acted made my heart ace which managed to nearly weaken out my headache. I drank too much, I sat up and put my hand on my head, the moonlight being to bright. I stared down at my naked body to see slight traces of blood on my body, yet no injury's. What happened while I was drunk? I grasped the blanket, I was cold really really cold. It had only been a few seconds and I already missed him, I hated how dependent I was on him. I opened the window and looked out to the moon, my messy orange hair blew in the wind. The sweet smell of Yokohama blew into the room, it got colder. I pulled the blanket around my shoulders and threw the blanket along my thighs. " Osamu Dazai" I sighed out, I've fallen for a man who wishes to die. My fate was destined for unhappiness, it didn't matter, I'm in love with him. I looked out the window, my senses stood, my anxiety skyrocketed and all was heard throughout the room and echoed in the hallway was a single gunshot.