Ryuji Sakamoto was in love.
He had only come to face this fact very recently, after all the feeling just came out of nowhere. It all happened when the Phantom Thieves were training in Mementos. Akira, also known as Joker, commanded everyone to perform an all out attack on the weakened opponent. Once the shadow was defeated Akira had looked over at Ryuji and gave him a smile that was out of character for his Joker personality. This caused Ryuji's heart to melt instantly, he got butterflies in his stomach and even lost his breath. Morgana made a snarky comment about how such a weak foe made Ryuji so tired, but Ryuji knew it wasn't the shadow that caused this shortness of breath. There was only one person in the world who could cause this to happen, and that was Akira Kurusu.
Ryuji didn't know when these feelings started to develop, how long he refused to accept that the feelings existed. All he knew was when Akira smiled at him, with that absolutely adorable and warm smile of his, he fell for him even more. Though Ryuji would rather die than let anyone know about this stupid crush of his, he'd be completely embarrassed and afraid they'd tell Akira. The only problem is, Ryuji is terrible at keeping things under the radar.
"Do you like Akira?"
Ryuji looked up from his paper, looking directly at Ann who had promised to help him study.
"What the hell does that have to do with studying?"
"Nothing it's just..." Ann paused, thinking of a way to phrase her words, "You've been acting pretty weird lately... every time Akira walks in the room your face gets a little flushed and your mood instantly goes from ok to great."
"Well he's my best friend... why wouldn't I be happy to see him? Now can you help me with this? I don't understand it" Ryuji was hoping this would be enough to get Ann to drop the topic
"Ya in a second, I still want to talk about this... if you do it's not a big deal! We all accept you for who you are.... and I'm just kinda curious..."
Ryuji paused, avoiding Ann's eyes as he thought about his decision. Was he going to tell her? Sure he trusted Ann, they literally fought shadows together almost everyday which requires a lot of trust among your team. In fact the problem wasn't whether or not he trusted Ann, the problem was Ryuji. Ryuji was just scared to admit the truth, he wasn't ashamed of this feeling, he was just scared this could ruin the current relationship him and Akira have.
Ryuji must have been silent for to long because Ann spoke again saying, "It's alright, I won't force you to tell me"
"I like Akira"
Ann's eyes widened, surprised she actually got an answer, but then went back to normal as she gave Ryuji a smile.
"I knew it!" She exclaimed happily, causing Ryuji's face to turn red.
"Hey not so loud! We're in a public place. Besides didn't you say it's not a big deal??" Ryuji whispered, looking around to see a few people giving them strange looks.
"Sorry sorry, I just got a little excited. I'm happy you told me."
"Ya whatever... you just have to promise you won't tell the others. Especially Akira."
"Don't worry Ryuji I wouldn't betray your trust like that... but I do think you should ask Akira out" Ann mumbled out the last part, knowing Ryuji would never actually do it.
"What? Hell no." Ann sighed, she knew he was going to say that yet was still disappointed.
"Why not?"
"Uh because there's no way he would actually go out with me. I don't even think he's gay."
"Ya your right..." Ann paused and looked at the disappointed expression Ryuji had when she said that, "he's not gay..... he's bi"
"Wait for real?" Ryuji's eyes lit up, he had hope again.
"Of course! Have you not noticed?? He constantly compliments you and the guys."
Now that Ryuji thinks about it, he starts to realize all the flirty comments Akira has ever made. This causes his face to light up like a Christmas tree
"Oh my god" he mumbled out, looking down and resting his hands on his neck. Ann let out a laugh, making Ryuji feel even more embarrassed.
"Wow you really are dense"
"Shut up!!"
Ann laughed even more, holding onto her stomach as she bent forward. All the clues were laid out for him, yet he never noticed them. It was like a puzzle, once you put the pieces together you get the full picture. However in this case it was almost like Ryuji was a toddler trying to put a 3000 piece puzzle together.
When Ann and Ryuji finally pulled themselves together, they continued studying. However Ryuji couldn't focus, he was to busy thinking about Akira.
Does Akira like me? He flirts with a lot of people, so it's probably just his personality... But what if it's not? There's always a chance he actually feels the same. Maybe Ann is right.. I should ask him out.
Ann and Ryuji wrapped up their studying session and went their separate ways. It was only 5:37, meaning Ryuji could still hang out with Akira, especially since he was feeling confident.
Alright! Your gonna tell him! No backing out now Ryuji!
He pulled out his phone, clicked on Akira's contact and started typing
"Hey man, you free? I just finished up with Ann and really need a break. My brain is fried"
Ryuji stared at his phone for a minute or two before he finally got a response
"Sorry I can't, I'm with Makoto right now. Maybe tomorrow"
All of the confidence he had went down the drain.
Makoto again.
Ryuji likes Makoto, she's nice and is basically the mother of the group. However he'd be lying if he didn't admit he was jealous of how much time Akira was spending with her.
It was simple at first, they'd have their own small study group together, and occasionally hang out in their free time. However lately they've been getting together more and more. At one point Makoto asked Akira to be her pretend boyfriend, and he agreed.
Ryuji sighed and responded with a simple "it's alright" before putting his phone away. If Akira had feelings for Makoto, he'd be ok with it, as long as he's happy Ryuji is happy.
Ryuji entered his house with a sigh, his mom wasn't home, meaning he was all alone. He walked up to his room and laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Of course he'd want Makoto over you... she's smart, beautiful, caring. She has everything. All I have is my stupidity, childish, and above all jealousy. I have nothing.
Ryui groaned and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. If Akira is happy, Ryuji's happy... but why doesn't he feel happy? Why does it hurt so much? Ryuji is used to being rejected, it's happened quite a lot, He was always okay with it back then. Why isn't he okay now?
Ryuji closed his eyes and sighed.
Can someone please come and change my heart?
