Glen

Chapter 9

I woke, drenched in sweat. Again. This seemed like it was just my life, now. Years of evil, wrapping around me like some many-eyed serpent, threatening to swallow me whole. Why, now? Why did this come back on me, now? I had never felt even the slightest twinge of remorse; never.

The walls, ceiling, and floor of my hospital tomb(room?) began to breathe, pulsing with my nausea and self-loathing. I tumbled out of bed to wretch pathetically into the cheaply-made tan colored bed pan. Was I meant to keep doing this? If this is how I'm meant to live, I want none of it.

I caught myself gazing into the murky substance under my face. Could I just end it? Drowned in my own stomach contents, never again to feel the hellish sensations of my tormented mind? Or...Or was that my hell? Was I truly meant to be horrifically mutilated by everyone that had ever been hurt by my worthless existence? Did I deserve it?

I didn't know whether to blame Dr. Cody, blame the drugs, or just blame myself. I wanted to be infamous. I didn't want to suddenly be wracked with guilt over things that I had, quite frankly, truly enjoyed.

The nurse came in to check my vitals and found me on the floor, percolating in my own juices. She cried out in surprise and called out to other nursing staff. They hefted me back into the bed, as I stared listlessly into oblivion. I had to know why this sudden change of heart?

It occurred to me that the nurses sounded eons away, like a dream. They began shining piercing beams of light into my eyes.

"Stop it, you chimps, that hurts!"

I could hear what sounded like my name.

"Yes, yes, I hear you! What is with you people?"

Without warning, a large male nurse, reminiscent of a silverback with a monobrow, grabbed my jaw and began feeding a tube down my throat. I tried to gag, but no sound came out. These imbeciles were trying to kill me!

The angry squeal of machines bounced around my skull, as they poked, prodded, inserted, and attached all manner of additional tubes and wires to me. What was happening?

Doctors came in and out of my room for days? Or was it years? I came to understand, from what little I could understand from the lightyears between us, is I had somehow slipped into a coma.

It was the worst nightmare, yet. I had no kin, no friends. When I passed into the darkness, no one would weep for me. I would be just another monster who got what he deserved.

I was like a helpless hostage in my own, rotting corpse, gagged and bound and terrified. My self-loathing deepened as I grew to sense the pain and torment I had caused to so many. I tried to scream, to beg for forgiveness, but my agony was muffled by my undeath. I started to -wanted to- give up. Death just seemed...better. At least, it did.

Dr. Cody arrived to sit by my bedside, one day, a book in his hand. He opened the front cover, silent and worn but beautiful as a lifelong lover, and began to read. His voice faded in and out, like ghosts dancing in heat waves on a long, desert road. What he read to me, I was never quite sure, but his voice soothed me in the depths of my purgatory,

I lay like a withering pharaoh in my sarcophagus of pristine, white linens, venerated with the distant song of his warm, rich voice, the steady hum of halogen lights, and the distant whispers of the hospital beyond my prison. The machines, sprouting from me like great cobwebs, pulsed with the last promises of life.

As I drifted in and out of my darkness, I came across my personal hell, on occasion. The hideous homunculi watched in silence from the periphery of my vision. Though I couldn't always seem them, I always knew they were there, waiting. They waited for the day I would join them.