Musings of a dumb bitch

Am I a bad person?

It's not a nice thought. The kind that crawls into your head like a dirty spider. Always sort of there (Because spiders are hard to get rid of).
It works it's way into my head at least once a day but today more than usual.
I got into an argument/confrontation with an ex-friend. I'd been repeatedly told by different people whom I trust wholeheartedly and have no reason to lie that she had been saying horrible things about me behind my back. This went on for a while because I didn't want to cause an argument with said girl. But today I was just fed up. I'd had enough and I wasn't going to take it any longer so I confronted her.
I didn't go well.
She said it was all lies and rexyed me that she was crying and felt sick. She also told her mum, which bothered me because it had nothing to do with her mum, and I don't want her mum knowing my business.
But hey ho.
And I had a moment. It was when she started telling me how much she was crying over text and I was just fucking eating bread.
"Am I a bad person?!"
My immediate response is yes, but to  tell the truth I don't like that narrative very much. I want to be good, be liked.
Not a monster who ears bread whilst people cry like Jabba-the-evil-cunt.
Playing as my lawyer for a second here, I'd argue I'm not completely in the wrong. I'll admit I got angry towards the end of the argument because I was so frustrated. I feel guilty for that. It was wrong. But does it make me a bad person?

On the other hand, I did choose to initiate the confrontation instead of just letting it slide. I got angry and sharp towards the end and left her on read. Petty? Yes, but I also couldn't think of a response.

However, is it really 'good' to just let people talk shit about you? To some maybe, to others it's called being a giant pussy. I'd argue there's a medium inbetween 'pussy' and 'jabba-the-evil-cunt'. One that I'd love to be.

Regardless I still feel the urge to apologise but I stand by my original point. I still believe she said those things. If I'm wrong I will absolutely apologise and make it up as best as I can. But I'm not sure I am wrong.

I will likely apologise in about 5 minutes to alleviate my guilt but I can't eat my own words if I stand by them. I'm conflicted truly and full if Hovis half-and-half.
I'll update with how it goes for the nobody reading this.