Checkered Hearts

Good Enough?

It's a week until Warped and i'm having serious doubts. I have no doubts in my band, I would trust them with my life, I doubt myself. I haven't slept in 3 days because i'm so nervous. Right now, I'm sitting in my living room doing absolutely nothing. My phone blasts out Wretched and Divine and lets me know Alice is texting me.

Alice: Open the God dang door. Let me the heck in.

Me: Then give me a freaking, minute.

After I let her in she comes and sits on the couch with me. She looks at me like she knows something is up.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing" I say quickly.

"Scar, we have been best friends for so long, I can practically read your mind."

" I just- nothing wrong." I sigh.

"Obviously there is, now tell me before I take extreme measures."

I roll my eyes," Like?"

"Don't test me, now what's wrong?"

"I can't do this. Play Warped I mean. I'm not good enough."

"If anyone is good enough its you."

I laugh, " As if, I'm just a little girl who's dreaming big. Who could actually look up to me? I'm just a girl with daddy issues. I've been bullied since Middle School. All I am is a little girl who blocks people out so she can keep her walls up. Well," I'm now yelling. " You wanna know warts wrong? Why I push myself so hard? I'm scared Alice! I'm do scared that someone will breakdown my walls and hurt me. I'm scared that all I will ever be is a screw up. So tell me, Alice, who could possibly look up to me? Who?" By the time i'm done i'm crying.

"You listen to me, Scar. It's okay to be scared. It's a part of life. I look up to you because you are the bravest person I know. You made it. Of course, you did dream big, and that's great. You did it." She says quietly. I sit speechless, not understanding how to respond.

     She begins again, " If anyone can do this it's you."

"Okay." I nod.

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

I sigh, " We will be meeting our idols this time next week."

She grins." Ronnie Radke. Vic Fuentes. Kellin Quinn. Andy Biersack," She laughs. " I'm in."

"Me too, Alice." I say. " Me too."

We look at eachother and crack up. Her phone dings and notifies her she has a text. She reads it and sighs.

"Axel is hurt, Again." She says.

"What did he do this time?"

"He ran into a door and broke his nose."

"That boy..."

"Well he's coming over after," Her phone dings. " He's here."

I grunt, but get up to let him in anyways.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" He says through the door.

"Go away, Axel."

"Okay, Bye." I open the door to see him grinning madly at me. He walks past me and begins to raid my kitchen.

"Umm, excuse yourself. Who the hell said you could enter my house and raid my kitchen?" I question.

" I gave myself permission, Thank you." He says and goes to reach fir my tea, but before he reaches it I say, " If you take that I will cut your hands off."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, a promise." He slowly puts it back.

" Exactly, now, be a good little boy and go sit with Alice. " He glared at me but does it anyways. At least I thought he did until I hear Alice squeaking. I run to them.

"The. Heck?" I say when I see Axel siting on Alice. " I said sit with her not on her."

He shrugs, " She's comfy."

Alice looks at me and mouths, Help me. I roll me eyes at how dramatic she's being and walk over to them. I poke Axel on the stomach and he falls to the floor in a heap of giggles. I walk closer, but he crawls away and curls into a ball.

"I can't trust you. You, you, you..." He struggles to find a weird to say. "You betrayed me."

I raise my eyebrow at him. " Such a baby." I www.

He gasps," Am not!"

I look him in the eyes and say,             "Prove it."

He tackles me to the floor and tickles me. "Take it back!" He screams.

"Okay, Okay!"

"Good." He says and releases me.

" So, are you excited to meet Ashley?" I ask him.

" Purdy? From Black Veil Brides?"

" No, Tisdale. From High School Musical. Duh, Purdy!"

"Oh," He pauses. " Yeah."

"How about you Alice? Excited to meet CC?" I ask.

"Uh Duh, but what about you! Excited to meet Andy?"

"Yeah... but what if he's a jerk?"

" You know he's only like that with Haters." Axel says.

" Yeah, but we still need to focus. I call a call yesterday to tell us where we'd be playing," I grin. " Main Stage."

Bye beautiful people <3

Harm a.k.a ilovetoread199