I keep on failing, I do
I failed and failed and failed
Again and again
But God, dear God
When will this curse of mine end
I keep loving, I keep caring
I keep looking, I keep staring
I know I shouldn't
But I just can't stop myself from doing so
My brain is no longer in control
My brain no longer works
My fingers, they keep me inside
Of this barren world
They keep on creating illusions for me to indulge on
And oh God, I just can't stop myself from doing so
It tastes so good
Feels so good
To be where I want to, be who I want to be
To become strong, be strong
But God, it's toxic
It's damn killing me
The lies, the masks
Everything is a lie
I am no longer living in reality
Everything is fake
The emotions, the thoughts
All are processed already, prepared
Programmed for me to follow suit
I am a bot of my own creation
A slave of my self-made chains
Please, please God
Stop it, stop this nonsense
I know it doesn't benefit you
And sure as hell it doesn't benefit me
It hurts me, slowly
It corrupts me, painfully
Why give a big heart to someone with a small brain
Why does it have to be me, God
Why?