Adventures in Muppet Treasure Island

chapter 9

Arrow whispered loudly to get everyone to line up. "Roll call!" He ordered as the boat sailed out and Cherry looked like she was really going to be sick. He took out a scroll and called out like a school teacher calling for students. "Long John Silver?"

"Aye, aye, SIR!" he yelled right next to Cherry, knocking her down.

"Short Stack Stevens?"

"Aye." he raised his hand.

"One-Eyed-Jack?"

"Aye."

"Black-Eyed Pea?"

"Here!"

"One-Eyed-Pike?"

"Aye!"

"Polly Lobster?"

Polly squawked and whistled like a parrot.

"Mad Monty?"

"Aye," a green hairy monster called.

"Sweetums?"

"Aye." a deep voice from a big, frightening looking beast answered from behind Peach, Jim and Cherry.

"Old Tom?"

"Aye."

"Real Tom?"

"Aye."

"Dead Tom?"

"Aye, aye." A skeleton responded.

"Cool!" Gonzo smirked.

"Indeed." Peach nodded her head while Jim looked disturbed.

"Clueless Morgan?"

"Huh?" a goat asked.

"Headless Bill?...Headless Bill?"

The wind whistled and everyone looked around. Cherry poked Peach's arm, forcing her to look. Cherry then pointed down to show a headless man who saluted. Peach raised an eyebrow and Cherry just shrugged her shoulders.

"Big Fat Ugly Face Baby-Eating O'Brian?"

"Aye," a beautiful woman with a deep voice responded.

"Angel Marie?"

"Aye, aye."

"Gentlemen, ladies," Smollet appeared as he nodded his head. "May I see you in my cabin? Immediately?" He walked off as everyone including Livesey and Beaker followed. Everyone sat around the table feeling calm, but Smollet then lost control, shocking everyone. "WHO HIRED THIS CREW!? THIS IS THE DOWN MOST SEDIOUS CUTTHROAT CREW OF VILLAINS AND SCOUNDRELS I HAVE EVER SEEN! SO, WHO HIRED THEM!?"

As he stopped, everyone looked around at each other nervously. They then pointed at Trelawney. He looked with them and pointed to his finger.

"Your finger hired the crew?" Smollet asked.

"No, that's silly!" Trelawney answered. "The man who lives in my finger hired the crew, Mr. Bimble! What?" He put his finger to his ear. "He relies heavily on the advice of the excellent cook, Long John Silver."

"A cook and a guy who lives in a bear's finger?" Smollet groaned, leaning in his seat.

"Exactly! That's me!" Trelawney smiled.

"I'm starting to worry about this voyage," Smollet turned to Jim. "Um, Jim, I know Billy Bones gave you the treasure map, but I hope you'll give it to me for safekeeping."

"I'll be careful with it, sir." Jim put the map in his vest.

There was then a knock at the door. Jim got up and answered it. Silver came in wheeling his cart. "Beggin' your pardon, lads and lasses. But I come with a bit of a treat for you. 'Tis my very own best brandy! Laid down by the brothers of Buckfast Abbey. Vintage 1737 to toast a prosperous voyage!"

"Oh, spiffy!" Trelawney cheered.

"Ooohh..." Cherry moaned. "I'm not old enough to drink and I can't even, I can taste breakfast..."

"I don't mind," Peach smiled. "I'm not old enough to drink either, but I wouldn't mind. I drink shandies all the time whenever the lemonade evaporates!"

"Mr. Silver," Smollet looked at him apologetically. "I'm not going to allow drinking on this voyage."

"Oh..." Trelawney looked disappointed. He threw the glass out the window. "Well, rules are rules."

"Dang," Peach huffed.

"Oh but sir! 'Tis a tradition for the officers to toast to the success of a voyage." Silver tried to sound convincing.

"No, we must set an example for this questionable crew; there will be no consumption of alcohol of any kind." Smollet said.

"Oh, sir. But I can handle this crew and you can sail to heaven back with these men," Silver argued with the amphibian.

"Well, I'm afraid I must disagree with you."

"You wanna knock it off with the booze?" a rat moaned from out the window. "It's peelin' the paint off this shuffle board."

"Yeah," a girl rat agreed.

"Sorry." Trelawney told them.

Everyone then left after Smollet and Silver argued.