logic and emotion

5/22/19

~intj~

Enfp you better not ignore this because I know you read everything I write in this. I'm concerned for enfp because she is refusing to listen to my advice about going to bed at a normal time...and not staying up all night playing Sims. I know that she is done with school for the year and stuff, but it really isn't healthy for her to stay up so late like that.

As someone who has struggles with anxiety and depression, I can confirm that getting enough sleep is an important part of mental health. Now I don't want to be a don't doing friend or anything, it's just I love my enfp and I don't want anything bad to happen to her, so enfp if you are reading this, get some damn sleep please. You're scaring me.

Okay so in other news, I am almost done with my Geometry for this year, so that will be nice. This lesson was a introduction to Trigonometry, and I starting to feel myself run out of the mental capacity to do it anymore. I just have to keep reminding myself I only have two lessons left, and then I will be officially done.

Me and enfp are both homeschoolers, but I do school a bit differently than most of the other homeschoolers I know. My mom has to still work, so instead I do my homework at my cousins' house, and my aunt is actually my teacher. I do go to a co-op, and next year I will be going to two at the same time. However, I did recently take this standardized test that is required by the state, and I got above average in every subject (besides Social Studies), and the person who runs the test said if I wanted to I could start dual enrolling in college next year. I would do that, but it's too expensive, so I will just wait until the next year like most homeschoolers do.

I haven't always been homeschooled; I used to go to a private Christian school, but I left because of two reasons. One, it was expensive. Two, I began to hate it there. People were really judgmental and I did not fit in there at all. All the girls in my class played volleyball, and most of them also played basketball. I, on the other hand, suck at sports. Plus, I was really into heavy metal at the time, and when my teacher found out, she called me out on it (as if it were a sin) in front of the entire class. I was nicknamed the "goth girl." People didn't accept me for who I was, so I decided to leave and be somewhere I could be accepted. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to say that because I went to a Christian school people were more judgmental, but I am a Christian myself, and I do believe we can sometimes be a bit judgmental, which I think is really messed up. Since I know how I felt being judged for literally no reason, I try really hard not to be judgmental, especially when I don't know the whole situation. But if you're gonna cause yourself harm by staying up too late I'm gonna say something that's just how it is, sis.

Enfp often tells me the reason she wanted to be my friend was because I accepted her in her weirdness, but I think it's kinda the same feeling for me. She accepted that I dress darker than most people, that my music taste is darker, and I overall don't fit the basic white girl stereotype that most of the girls my age fit into. I fit a different stereotype I guess. And enfp is okay with that (and honestly she fits it too, we like a lot of the same things).

I don't really know where I was going with this, I guess this journal is supposed to be where we just write down whatever thoughts come to mind. And I also wanted to explain a bit more about myself, and my past. And explain why I sometimes refer to enfp as the light to my darkness.