Ser Jaime Didn't Die Protecting His Queen

In Which Jaime Is Smart And Apologizes to Brienne

Jaime had been given his own chambers and a Maester to treat him, the northerners didn't interact with him unless it was essential, and the first two days he avoided eating in the Great Hall so he wouldn't have to face Brienne and Podrick's hurt eyes, hiding only made things worse, but he needed to find the right words... he wouldn't ask for her forgiveness, but she needed an explanation and the certainty that his feelings for her were true and had nothing to do with him going down to Kingslanding. 

On the third day, Bran asked Jaime to accompany him for supper, he couldn't refuse so he pushed his chair to the Great Hall. The room which had been filled with voices stopped as soon as he entered, Sansa eyed him with pure hatred but her gaze was not the thing that made him look away, it was Brienne who was by her Lady's side. If she reacted to his presence he did not know, his eyes never left the ground. 

Once he had placed Bran at the table, he was quick to take a seat beside Ser Davos at the far end, slowly the voices resumed their previous conversations and he could finally breathe.

"We hadn't seen much of you since that trial of yours," Davos said as he took a bite of what seemed to be a pig stew.

"I doubt I was missed" Jaime answered

The old man chuckled "Well you better start to get used to this; you swore your sword to the Starks"

Jaime looked around him, the North was really depressing with its cold weather and their simple castle. Yet, he had been happier here than in any other part of Westeros in his whole life. Not many people get second chances, and this was his third? fourth? Gods know.

After they were done eating Sansa called for a meeting council where they would decide the approach to take in Kingslanding to recover Jon Snow, or was it Targaryen now? and Tyrion. Jaime might have not been the most welcome, but he knew tactics, perhaps not as well as Tyrion or the great Tywin Lannister, but he considered himself a valuable source either way.

"Daenerys armies remain loyal to her despite her death. I received a letter from Arya informing me of the situation, she offered to free Jon herself but that will only cause more conflict, and Daenery's forces might engage in a war rather than leave" Sansa spoke, steady and thoughtful, a true and natural leader "Arya will wait for us in the South until we decide our strategy"

"What about the dragon, My Lady?" Davos asked

"Arya says it flew away on the same day Daenerys died, the Unsullied army don't know more than we do"

"Drogon will not be in our way, he mourns for his mother," Bran announced.

"Good. Her army is the main concern then" Sansa nodded "Kingslanding population is mostly gone, and the Northern army is stationed in the outsides waiting for orders"

"Has the Commander of her forces asked for something?" Gendry asked, a quiet boy, far more prudent and likable than his father, Jaime noted. 

Sansa didn't answer right away; she shared a glance with Brienne before pulling out a scroll "He plans on executing both Jon and Tyrion for justice and asks for our presence, but no, he hasn't made any demands"

"He wants vengeance" Jaime spoke. Sansa's blue icy eyes pierced his, yet he continued "she brought them to the other side of the world promising they would conquer and be welcomed as free men. Their loyalty towards the late Targaryen Queen was born out of love, which is perhaps the most blinding loyalty of all. They lost and they don't care about death, their life's purpose is already gone, all that's left is vengeance"

"Ser Jaime is right" Bran spoke lowering the tension.

"Of course, he would know," the Lady of Winterfell said out loud, low enough to not be taken as an interruption but loud enough for him to hear.

"What do you propose, Ser Jaime?" Davos turned to him, was the old man starting to become his friend? 

Jaime took a deep breath before speaking and found Brienne's eyes on his, her expression neutral. "An act of the justice they seek so they don't leave empty handed"

"They murdered innocent people, they don't deserve any trial, in fact, we should be the ones judging them" Gendry spoke again, this time with passion, perhaps he was the only person in the room who truly saw the population of Kingslanding as more than just a number.

"Whoever has a larger army has the advantage I'm afraid" Davos calmed him down

Sansa spoke after a few moments of silence "We could call a council with representatives of the most powerful Houses in Westeros and offer a public trial. This war has been extended for far too long to continue any further. I believe the Lords would agree, and the army would be left with no other choice than to leave"

She turned to Bran expecting insight from his mystical predictions, he gave none. Which was promising enough.

"I'll begin preparing the scrolls, My Lady" Brienne spoke

It had felt like years since he last had heard her voice, years since he thought he'd never seen her again, years since she had begged him to stay with her...

"Thank you, Ser Brienne" Sansa spoke, and turning to the rest added "the council has ceased, thank you for coming"

Jaime turned to Bran to take him back to his chambers, but the boy lifted his hand "I will speak to Sansa, you are dismissed as well"

"How will you return to your chambers, My Lord?"

"I'll take him," Sansa told him, her tone calmer than the one she had used before with him.

Jaime nodded and left them alone. He thought about returning to his own chambers, but this might be the best chance he had to talk with Brienne. He began walking to the library, the damn place was like a labyrinth, but he had surprisingly made it. He tried to make the least sound as possible, but she was looking in his way when he entered, when they locked eyes she immediately turned away and continued searching for the scrolls. A few loose pages fell.

Jaime went to her and picked the pages up rearranging them without having any notion of their previous order.

"What are you doing?" she asked unable to meet his eyes, her tone stone cold.

"Lord Bran asked me to help you" he lied as he continued to organize as he pleased the things on the table.

They remained silent for a few more moments until she put the scrolls down and walked to him. Jaime stood facing her, her gaze had softened, she reached for his face and slapped him, hard and without a warning. He had to lean on the table to steady himself, half of his face burned, but he lifted his chin and turned to her again.

"I'm sorry" was all he could say, so many days of planning on fancy words, but he forgot all of them.

"Don't... don't say anything"

"I don't want you to forgive me. I don't deserve it, I never have, but I want you to know that I love you and that the last thing I wanted was to hurt the only good thing I had in my life. Brienne, I don't... I can't give you what you deserve"

She held his gaze "and so you left, you made that choice for me"

"I did"

"If she had survived would you have come back?"

He took a deep breath "I couldn't be happy when I knew the Targaryen Queen was destroying the city and that thousands of innocents would die while I, one of the less deserving men, lived. I didn't leave because of Cersei, I left to die with my child, with all of them"

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked with a knot in her throat

"And drag you more than I already had? No Brienne. I never planned on surviving, but since I did, I will spend the rest of my days serving the one I once almost killed and wishing you a good life, something that you deserve"

"You are an arsehole" her voice was breaking and her tone was softer despite the insult.

"And you know I am telling you the truth" Jaime prepared himself for another slap, but it never came, instead, she took the scrolls with her and left him alone.