Ser Jaime Didn't Die Protecting His Queen

In Which Jaime Tells Brienne He Loves Her

She knew she wasn't exaggerating, it had hurt her like nothing she could ever imagine, the thought of him dying by the side of his sister, the sister who had manipulated him for so long and kept him from being honorable as he had always wanted. The mere memory of that uncertain time still hurt too much, she had focused on the supervision of Winterfell's rebuilt day and night ever since.
When Sansa received Ser Davos's letter, even she seemed surprised that Jaime was alive, as for Brienne, she felt relieved, she was happy and at the same time felt betrayed more than before. She would always love Jaime Lannister no matter what happened or what he did, but she hadn't expected him to hurt her.

"We don't get to choose who we love" he had once told her, and it was true.

"Ser?" Podrick called her

She blinked a couple of times "Yes Podrick?"

"I said it's late and that you should get some rest, I'll escort you to your chamber"

She nodded, not because she needed protection, but because she feared that she wouldn't be able to control herself and would end up on Jaime's door instead of hers, either to kill him or to forgive him.

She laid awake for a long time, her gaze glued to the fire, it had been the only way she had found herself falling asleep since... since he had touched her, since she let herself be loved by a man, since they had both admitted their love for each other, since she had been happy.

He was alive, he was back with her, they were free from Cersei and yet she hated him more than ever, had she not been enough? Was death a better option than a new life? He loved her, of that she was certain, Jaime might have had secrets but not with her, she knew him, she knew him.
Brienne couldn't keep doing this to herself, she couldn't lose her sleep for him, he was alive, he should answer.

Jaime sat by the fire, his bed untouched, he couldn't sleep, he hadn't even tried, how could he? It was too damn cold and his conscience would never let him.

There was a loud knock on the door, he had almost jumped.

Maybe they sent someone to kill me, he thought, go on then.

He opened the door to see Brienne, she did look like she wanted him dead but for another reason.
She entered without an invitation and stood next to the fire, whatever speech she had planned was gone.

"I kept the fire" he muttered "as you taught me"

She nodded to herself, when had she ever been speechless? He'd rather see her yelling at him.

"Why?" She asked

Jaime took a deep breath "She was pregnant with my-"

"No" she cut him off "why did you sleep with me?"

Why? How could she even say that? Had she not known?

"Brienne" he began and took the courage to step closer, she stood still not meeting his eyes, he was such an idiot "look at me. I regret many things in my life but being with you has been the best decision I've ever made, Brienne. I love you, I didn't plan to leave you, I didn't want to"

She slapped him again, it didn't even hurt this time, his own words had made him feel worse than any other thing.

He felt his eyes watering, he had never cried like this in front of anyone, and he didn't care anymore. If there was someone who had once cared about him without any judgments it was her, he deserved it, he had hurt her.

"I'm sorry" he muttered again and wiped his face with his left hand

"You won't leave Brandon Stark," she commanded, her voice with not a single taint of sentimentality "you will honor your word and you will defend him no matter the cost or the time, swear it on your life"

"I swear it" he answered, he meant it, he did, maybe she would never forgive him but he'd do the right thing this time "but not on my life. I swear it for something I truly care about. I swear on your name"

He thought she was going to slap him again, he had prepared himself. He then expected her to leave, and yet her mouth was on his. He kissed her back returning three times more the passion and the intensity, he was alive,  he had died to truly be alive, he had lived to come back to her.

They had spent a few weeks together before the incident, and yet he felt like he had known her his whole life, the way her skin felt, the blush on her cheeks when he said indecent things, her hands on his bare back, her legs around him...her heartbeat synchronized with his.
Gods he had missed this.

They hadn't embraced each other afterward, but now they didn't dare to let go no matter the high temperature of the room, as if with one movement they'd part again forever.

Jaime placed his head on her neck, he longer knew where his body started and where hers.

"I love you," he said against her skin, it was low and soft but he had never meant it more. Brienne didn't say anything, but he felt her relax against him, sleep was pulling him, he kissed her neck one last time before closing his eyes.

He had woken up by himself, with no sight of Brienne except that the fire had been fed with more wood. He dressed and left the room, it was still very early but he knew Brienne was already with Lady Sansa at this hour, he figured he might as well check on Bran, the boy never truly slept anyway... would he know?

"Morning Ser Jaime" the boy greeted him

Jaime smiled shyly, and without any remarks, which was unusual behavior coming from him, he helped Bran dress and move to the wheelchair.

"We will leave in two days for Kingslanding. You must tell Sansa to begin preparations, tell her about the letter we already sent to Arya" his Lord commanded

"Is Tyrion alright?" He found himself asking

"He is alive"

Of course, the Three-Eyed Raven wasn't sentimental, Jaime didn't know what he had expected.
He left without another word and walked to Sansa's chambers. He knocked on the door and Brienne opened it.

He was blushing, he didn't blush, he composed himself with one of his signature grins.
"Ser Brienne, Lord Bran asked me to give a message to Lady Sansa"

She was always professional, but he saw a glint of happiness in her eyes.

Sansa herself walked to the door with no intention of inviting him in, her face neutral and her chin up.
"Yes?"

Jaime cleared his throat and composed himself "Lord Bran says we will leave for Kingslanding in two days, and to begin preparations you see fit. He has already written to your sister Lady Arya about his plan"

Sansa nodded "Very well then" she turned to Brienne and caught her looking at him, Jaime was having a hard time pretending nothing had happened too.

Sansa sighed "You are dismissed Ser Jaime" and closed the door in his face, he heard her say "we need to talk Brienne"