Ser Jaime Didn't Die Protecting His Queen

In Which Jaime Is Selfless

Podrick had not spoken a word to Jaime since he had come back, he also prevented, as much as he could master, Brienne and Jaime from being alone. It didn't bother Jaime at all, instead of upsetting him he was proud of the lad's service and admired how much he cared for the well-being of Brienne.
Sansa had commanded loyal people she trusted to supervise Winterfell and the North in her name. She was good at keeping composture like a proper Lady, but he noticed the sadness in her eyes. He could almost understand it, sure,  he wouldn't miss the North's gods-forsaken weather, but perhaps it had grown on him.

Bran had been particularly quiet the last two days, he had asked to spend as much time as possible in the Godswood.

"Feeling nostalgic my Lord?" Jaime asked him an hour before their parting. It had been the place where he had first apologized to Bran for pushing him out of a tower, not one of his best days. He could have never imagined being sworn to him.

Bran was looking at an ancient tree "I remember Brandon Stark's hope to return to Winterfell, the Godswood was Eddard Stark's favorite place"

Jaime stood by him and noticed now more than ever the face-like carving on the tree, he wondered if these Gods were more present than the Seven. He remembered how his father never mentioned the faith more as a tradition House Lannister needed to respect. 
"Do they exist? The Seven? The Old Gods? The Lord of Fire? The Drowned God? Any of them?" Jaime found himself asking,  he had never spent too much time thinking about the Gods. His question had even surprised him.

Bran did not answer, instead, he looked around the Godswood and announced "The North will be safe with their Gods for a very long time.  We must leave"

"Yes my Lord, perhaps you'll find another time to tell me the story of these Gods"

"How do you know there will be another time?"

Jaime chuckled despite what Bran's comment implied and pushed his chair back to the castle. He understood the conversation was over.
______

"Where have you been?"

"I apologize My Lady, but Podrick was guarding your tent and I didn't have the heart to confront him"

They had stopped for the night on their way to Kingslanding, by the next nightfall they would arrive at the Northern army camps just outside of the city. It had been a fast few weeks, Sansa had written to every big and small House to make sure their travel would be safe and fast. The less time Daenerys's army waited for them the better the trial would be open for discussion, or at least they hoped so.

Sansa's strategy depended on the support of the Houses, it was no secret the Vale was on her side as well as Riverrun, she even agreed to let Jaime represent Casterly Rock, and they counted on the support of smaller Houses and Lordships. Jaime was not sure Tyrion's life would be spared by mere votes, he was surprised his brother had not been executed already.  The Targaryen Queen had a faithful and loving army in difference from her father, no one had had much love or loyalty for him, so when Jaime killed Aerys instead of punishment he was granted an immediate pardon from Robert Baratheon, he knew it would be different this time.

He shook off his thoughts and took off his boots. He was glad to see and be with Brienne at last, they spent most nights together unless she would have late duties with commanding the Army they traveled with or when Jaime attended meetings with Bran and Sansa, evading Podrick hadn't been easy either, Brienne hadn't told the boy she had forgiven Jaime, the only one that knew was Sansa, and if Bran was aware, he made no comment.

Jaime laid down next to her, in her blue eyes he found comfort from what they would face.

"I'm sure Lord Tyrion will be alright, he deserves a just trial, he saved Westeros from further destruction from Daenerys Targaryen" she tried assuring him clearly knowing how concerned he was.

"Tyrion has never been a warrior and he spoke of his faith in the Targaryen girl. I can't picture him killing her, the internal fight he must have gone through. I should have been with him"

"You can't blame yourself for everything Jaime. You may have not been for him then, but you will be now, that's all that matters"

Her hands had gone to his face, her warm touch gave him hope. He pulled her towards him and kissed her, he may not be as good with words like Tyrion, but he would show her how much he appreciated all she did for him in other ways.

Brienne pulled away "Has Podrick left already?"

"I don't know. I told Ser Davos to distract him so I could get through him"

"You told Ser Davos?!"

He laughed, he was surprised at how chaste she still was.
"I would never, I just created a diversion for both of them. I still don't understand why we have to be so secretive"

"I don't want Podrick to think of me as..."

"A woman" He completed

"Are you teasing me?"

He chuckled "I would never. I'll do anything in my reach to make you comfortable, if we are to spend the rest of our lives in secret we will, although I'd rather not"

Brienne blushed once more "Thank you, the last time someone tried to force me into a compromise I challenged him to a duel"

Jaime laughed "I pity the man, but surely I'd be a worthy rival"

"You certainly can dream" she answered playfully.

They continued laughing in low hushes for a while, he was about to ask for further details about the duel when a strategy of something that might be able to solve their problems came to him. He was not sure if a Trial by Combat would be known in Essos, but every man could be persuaded to participate in a duel if their strength was challenged. He was not the skilled swordsman he once was, and he was also older than Daenerys's commander, but he had survived the army of the dead...he might have a chance. Jaime hated himself for doing this, for even thinking about it, he didn't want to have Brienne mourn for him a second time, if he lost his sacrifice would have done nothing for Tyrion's life, and yet he owed his life to him, he owed him the opportunity to apologize to Brienne, to explain himself.

"I love you" he blurted out. He would worry about honor and sacrifice tomorrow, and he would talk to Sansa and apologize to Bran, but tonight he would make sure Brienne knew he loved her. He would make sure she knew the life he wanted for them "Ser Brienne of Tarth, I love you"

She was taken aback but smiled.

It wasn't enough, no matter what he said it would never be enough to express what he felt. He sat up and found himself speaking again "I'd be the happiest man in this land if you would do me the honor of allowing me to be your husband. We can stay in the North with the Starks and teach our kids to Winter is coming. We can go to Casterly Rock, even bloody Pentos if you'd like, but we should go to Tarth, I would very much like to see it and meet your father. Whatever you may choose I will follow you."

Brienne sat up a few seconds after he had finished speaking, there were too many details he was ignoring, too many traditions and oaths he was forgetting, but she understood what he meant.

She didn't speak, instead, she reached for his right hand where it now was a stump. She uncovered it from his clothes and traced her fingers on his ugly cut, he flinched at first, the ghost of his hand could still haunt him sometimes.

"Brienne?" He asked in her silence.

Her eyes finally reached his, she was smiling "I would very much like that"