Earning Her Own Name

Chapter 15

I lay there on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I felt sick. I couldn’t do this.

But I had to.

I picked up my phone for the fifth time and stared at it. Liam’s number was already entered in, I just had to hit the call button. Then I’d tell him.

I’d end our friendship.

Even the thought of doing it hurt more than I ever thought it would.

I bit my lip and my thumb lingered over the button, shaking.

Press it Danni. Waiting is not going to do anything for you. Just get it over with.

I took a huge breath in and hit the button. Regret instantly flooded inside of me as the picture of Liam I had taken the night we first met appeared on my screen. I pressed the phone to my ear and sat up, finding it hard to breath.

I can do this. I can do this. I have Sean.

“Hello?” I heard Liam’s voice on the other line.

I can’t do this!

“L-Liam?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“Danni?! What’s wrong?” Liam asked quickly, sounding concerned.

“I-I…” what was I going to say? I can’t be your friend anymore? That’s just too blunt.

“I’m coming over.” He said. I felt a tear drip from my eye.

“N-No Liam don’t-” I was interrupted by the clicking of the phone hanging up.

Great. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to do this over the phone. Now I have to do it in person.

I couldn’t help it. I let the tears flow freely. I shoved my face into my hands and cried. He was my best friend. The only one who has ever been there for me. Why am I doing this?!

Because it’s Sean. Sean Mitch. My dream guy. I couldn’t help it. This was my one chance. I couldn’t blow it. I’d make it up to Liam some way. I’d still text him and talk to him when I could. But I needed to focus on my relationship with Sean.

I don’t know how long I was sitting there crying for until I heard the door fly open and felt arms around me.

“Shh Danni. It’s alright. I’m here.” He soothed and ran his fingers through my hair. I shook my head and buried it into his shoulder.

“No its not okay!” I sobbed and just pressed myself against him. I hated myself for doing this.

Just don’t do it Dan. Just don’t do it! I told myself. But I had to. I had to.

I groaned aloud and balled my hands into fists, tugging at Liam’s hoodie. He just wrapped his arms tighter around me.

“Let’s go for a walk. That always makes you feel better.” Liam said quietly and pulled me to my feet. I didn’t say anything, just nodded and wiped my eyes. I was obviously in no mood to argue about anything right now.

We walked down the street side by side in silence. The only thing either of us heard was my staggered breathing and the sound of birds. It was a nice evening all in all, but not for me.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.” Liam said and stopped walking, turning to face me. I looked at the ground and bit my lip, desperately trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to spill.

I have to say it now. Now or never.

“After you left,” I started, looking at my hands, fiddling with my fingers. I opened my mouth to continue, but nothing came out.