Wicked Love 2 (Kyle Kuzma)

33

Friday, July 26th, 2019

Ariana 💕

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the thing with me and Kyle happened and I-. I just don't know. I haven't talked to him since. He's been trying to get in contact with me but I haven't been answering the calls. I'm disappointed in myself. I have never thought of myself to be that type of girl. But I've fallen victim to it. I had sex with Kyle Kuzma. My ex-boyfriend. The father of my child.

It was the dick. It had to have been 🤦‍♀️.

Instead of sulking over what happened two weeks ago, I decided to push it away as far as I could. But my memories would not allow me to, then again they never allowed me to forget something that was unforgettable.

I had been keeping my distance from Allen as well, only confiding in three people. My mother, my sister and Syd, although I still had yet to tell either of them. So in simpler words, I've basically been keeping to myself about it. I've been keeping myself busy with Violet and Milo...and the occasional watching of Girls Trip. I am not in my right state of mind when it comes to talking...to say the least.

Today was a different story. I had been watching Allen interact with Violet for the last hour and he's been nothing short of amazing. Just looking at him made me feel more guilty than I already did. It sucks that I'm keeping such a huge secret from him and he's literally done nothing wrong. Nothing.

I love Allen entirely too much, but I don't think I can tell him that and not feel like an asshole for it. I'd be telling him that I love him, but there will be something in my gut telling me that I have to tell him what I'd done.

Or maybe that's just me reminiscing about Kyle being in my guts.

No. I have to stop. First of all, I was supposed to have waited 6 weeks. Six weeks, then I could engage in sexual activity. But it had been a long 8 1/2 months because missy decided she wanted to be a month early, and then have the nerve to come 11 days before her due date.

Either way that isn't the point. I had done something way out of my comfort and I feel like complete shit about it. Allen will never forgive me for this. My mom will be super disappointed. If she tells my father, he will have no words to express his disappointment. Ariel will probably throw a shit fit because I'd let Kyle get to me. Sydney will try to convince me that it's alright. And this whole thing will be one huge shit show.

If Allen gets his hands on Kyle, it's over. Then after those two duke it out, so will our relationship. And guess who's at the center of it all?

Me.

Allen talking broke me out of my thoughts.

"Ari?" He exclaimed.

"Hmm?" I say.

"I've been calling you for the last 5 minutes." He said.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I say.

He gave me a questioning look before speaking again.

"Violet pooped." He said.

"Oh." I say.

I stand up from my side of the couch, picking up my stinky baby girl and walking to her room. I lay her down on the changing station and get everything together.

Allen soon joined me in the room, leaning against the dresser with his feet crossed.

"What's up with you?" He asked.

I look over at him quickly before looking back down at Violet.

"Nothing." I say, a little too quickly for my liking.